The Wisdom of Bali

I know it’s confusing with all the people with the same name, but here’s the deal: all children in Bali are named according to their birth order. If you are the first child, your name is Wayan, second is Made (Ma-day), the third is Nyoman and fourth is Ketut. If you have more than four children, you start the names again.  It’s a great system really.

I had a wonderful talk with Wayan this morning. He is a man of 29 years, has a lovely wife and 2 sons and is very knowing and wise. We were talking about how Ubud used to be a sweet little village and now with tourism, things have changed dramatically. People feel that they need to sell their rice farms in order to build hotels or villas or to start a business to cater to tourists. We talked about money and how, many times it makes people greedy and changes their lives. People accumulate more things with their money and then have more worries about taking care of the things, making payments, worrying if people will steal them from you.

We talked about how important it is to give as well as receive and how essential that is in the whole scheme of things. He said it’s like a swimming pool. If it gets filled up and there is no outlet, the water gets stagnant and poisoned. You have to have an outpouring or a stream so that fresh water can come in to keep everything balanced and for the cycle to continue in a healthy way.

It’s the same reason that people in Bali make offerings to the gods several times a day. You must give in order to receive. You buy the flowers, rice, candies and banana leaves  to support and give to the people who sell them, you make the beautiful little baskets and offer them to the gods at the temple in order to receive their blessings. 

In Bali, family and temple ceremonies are the most important things and are what all life revolves around. If there is a ceremony taking place, nothing else matters. Businesses close and streets are clogged.  And this happens quite often.

The family lives together in their compound for their whole lives. When a son gets married, his wife comes to live in the compound. More rooms are added as needed. Compounds can be quite large, but there is usually one communal cooking area, and of course the family temple is central to life there. Children are taken care of by the whole family. As they say, “it takes a village”.

It’s all very beautiful and makes perfect sense to me. I am learning a great deal from the wisdom of Bali.

Merry Christmas!

Wishing all of my darling family and dear friends a very merry Christmas day! I hope it is warm and special and magical for all of you. 

It's about 8:30 Christmas night here. All of you back home are still snuggled in your beds, about to get up and find out what Santa left for you. 

I am sitting in my sweet guesthouse with the double doors open wide, watching the rain pouring down. I love the rain showers here in Bali. They come each day and wash things clean. Sometimes they are so powerful and so intense. Some days the rain has lasted for hours, but its usually a quick shower and then it's done. Like jumping in the shower at home and rinsing things off. 

My day has been very quiet. I went out to dinner with a friend last night and unfortunately we both got sick from some bad tuna. It tasted fine at the time but the after effects were no fun at all. I was up most of the night with terrible stomach cramps and dark bad tuna dreams. So today was spent in a very quiet way, reading, napping, watching a movie. I had to watch Eat Pray Love again, now that I'm here. I wanted to watch the Bali parts carefully to see if I know any of the areas they were. And I did. Very cool.

Speaking of EPL, I was coming back from a meeting in Sanur yesterday with a driver named Sonny and it turns out that he works with Ketut Lyer, healer from the book and had a lot of insight into the man and the many other healers in Bali. It was a very enlightening, very interesting conversation. There are certainly many very gifted healers here in Bali and there are some complete fakes. I have come across both, and it taught me to be aware and be careful. Good sense for all of us in all we do. Be aware of what's around you and be aware of your place in the world. 

After a nice nap today, there was a knock on the door. The sweet staff at my guesthouse brought a little flower arraignment with a Merry Christmas note. A very unexpected and very delightful gift. It made my day. I love where I'm staying at Ubud Aura. It's a special place with a wonderful energy. I am very at home here now and the staff of 20 something kids are my friends. We talk each day about Bali and about America, music, family, customs and cultures. I learn a lot from them. 

Counting my blessings tonight, missing my family and friends and wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!

 

Flying Angel

 

Wayan helps me peel my shirt, shorts and underthings off of my damp body. They are sticky with the days sweat mixed with rain from the downpour that I was caught in an hour before. She has filled a bath with warm water and tons of fresh flowers. 

Gorgeous red, lemon yellow and cotton candy pink petals float on the lukewarm water. Part of the room is open-air and the raindrops are still softly falling inside.

She holds my arm as I melt down into the tub. She smiles and says “It’s ok? I leave you now?”. “Yes, it’s ok. But please don’t hurry back.” I say. She looks at me with a face that tells me she doesn’t understand my joke. I smile up at her and she closes the door behind her.  

My eyes are closed and the fragrance from the flowers fills my nose with perfume. They stick to my arms and my toes and my breasts and I feel like a princess in an ancient story. There is a huge smile plastered on my face.

I lay there for a while like that and then, when I open my eyes, there about six feet directly above me is a flying Balinese angel. The wooden kind that people hang from their ceilings. She is made of wood and is about four feet long. Her eyes are looking directly into mine. It stuns me for a moment and I feel a shiver run through my body. What a beautiful thing. She has jet black hair and golden wings that seem to protect me as I lay there prone in the bath. I look back at her, study her and meditate with her as she hovers in space above me. Her hands are in prayer position in front of her heart. She has a kind and loving face. Bob Marley's voice comes into my head. "Everything's gonna be alright.....everything's gonna be alright...."

In no time at all Wayan is back, knocking on the carved wooden door. “Finish?” 
“No.” I say. “I haven’t been here very long….”. She thinks about this a moment and then holds up all ten fingers on both hands. She curls them up and opens them again two more times. “I’ve been here for thirty minutes??” I say. It seems like five.

Wayan helps me sit up in the warm water and lathers my back with lemongrass soap. She washes my arms, shoulders, legs and chest. I close my eyes and feel the powerful, beautiful exchange between two women. Then she takes a coconut shell ladle and pours water over me to remove the soap and flower petals. I stand up in the tub and she does the same.

It feels like a beautiful baptism with the wise flying angel watching over and blessing everything. 

Anna Marie Kipar

I met Anna Marie at a Rotary Club meeting in Ubud. She is 72 years young and has a great life story. We hit it off right away and she invited me to come and spend a few days at her home in a village outside of town.

She picked me up in her rented jeep and we went tearing up the hill. She drives a little crazy and yells at people in German to get out of her way. She has short grey hair and piercing blue eyes. She is an artist and makes the most extraordinary beaded wall hangings I have ever seen. They are delicate and gorgeous and lush. She also makes beaded kimos that are stunning. Elizabeth Taylor owns one and her works have been shown in many museums and upscale hotels.

We arrived at her compound and were let in by Pacsampa, the gardner/night watchman who has worked for her for 10 years. Pacsampa is like a cartoon character I once saw. He has a huge smile with most teeth missing and just nods over and over. He has a wild but at the same time calm look in his eyes and I can tell that he operates in a slightly different reality. He is a sweet man and sits each night on the veranda and lulls me to sleep while he plays a bamboo xylophone type instrument that makes the most beautiful sound. It sounds like a bamboo wind chime.

There are three buildings on the property and the most exquisite gardens. The first building reminds me of a plantation style house that has 4 rooms; two up and two down. A wide veranda runs along the front of each floor. Anna Marie’s art studio and two guest rooms are located in the first building. There are potted plants, beautiful paintings and sweet furniture all around. Her beaded fabric pieces are everywhere. Some as small as a framed photo, and others as large as 10 feet. They are so incredible and incorporate local batik fabric with birds, flowers, butterflies and symbols. I love looking at them. The guest room I stayed in is so sweet and comfortable. My little veranda has a cage with colorful birds and bamboo furniture to sit on. The view is rice fields on two sides. Ducks are always being herded around each. I haven’t figured out what the duck’s role is, but they seem to be very important to the rice farmers. Perhaps they eat the insects from the plants. I intend to find out. There is also a cemetery on one side of the compound and the little street light above it will not stay lit no matter how many times the electrician looks at it. They say the dead do not want to be lit.

The second building houses the kitchen where Wayan presides each day from 7 until 3. She fixes breakfast and lunch, cleans the rooms, creates and makes the offerings for the gods and does it all with a huge smile. She speaks very good English and is a sweet girl. The kitchen is painted yellow and blue and is a cheery room. Indonesians do not eat in the kitchen but this one is inviting with a little table and chairs. Anna’s European influence is definitely here among the delicate porcelain china cups that match the teapots.

In the third building Anna Marie lives upstairs. She has a beautiful daybed on the veranda of intricately carved Balinese wood and bright fabric pillows and pad. She has her Tibetan Buddhism books there as well as her candles, fresh flowers and prayer beads. Anna Marie and I were both in Bodh Gaya last year for the teachings of The Dalai Lama but we did not meet then. Instead we met in Bali.

There is another cage with 4 beautiful birds there and they squawk loudly when there are guests. Anna Marie yells at them in German and the only word I understand is “terrorist!” She’s a very funny, very spunky, somewhat naughty woman. I like her very much. There is a sweet dog who lives here too and is spoiled rotten. Anna feeds him from her plate and talks to him when he gets scared of the thunder and lightening.

I had a very restful first night at Anna’s and I couldn’t believe I got to wake up in such a beautiful place. I felt very fortunate. I opened up the wooden doors and shutters and looked out at the farmers in the rice fields. We had breakfast on the veranda, yummy, strong Balinese coffee, toast with jam and a huge pile of fresh fruit with yogurt and coconut on top.

After breakfast we talked a long time before going for a swim at a nearby hotel. The pool was situated on a hillside overlooking a steep jungle canyon with a river at the bottom. It was glorious.

Next we drove through the nearby villages that are all dressed up for Galungan, a yearly celebration of the deceased ancestors, who come back for 10 days to feast and check in on everyone. Each home builds these beautiful bamboo poles that are decorated with bamboo curls, ribbons, fabric, little mirrors and food offerings. There is competition in the villages about who can make the most beautiful ones. We drove through and looked at them all and it was delightful. Out here, the Balinese don’t see many white people and we got a lot of attention driving through. I felt like a queen on parade.

After a late lunch, we changed our clothes and Anna drove me though villages on the other side of Ubud to a very fancy hotel called The Hanging Gardens. There, she has a 15 foot long piece hanging in the foyer as well as several kimonos and other pieces in the gift shop. 

It started to rain as we were leaving and we got lost on the wrong road coming back. We were deep in the jungle. It was a little scary for a bit, but then we found our way back. We went to a Buddhist teaching that evening and that was nice.

We got back to her place and had some rice with veggies and egg and some delicious rice wine in the bright yellow kitchen of her place as the rain poured down. We talked late into the night about her time in San Francisco and coming to Bali 18 years ago and all the changes she has seen.

I will go back and spend time with her over the holidays and look forward to that. She is a dear, sweet woman with a bit of a wild side. She inspires me.

Living on Bali Time

The time I'm spending in Bali has turned out to be a time of deep reflection, growth, understanding and change.

I'm doing yoga every day, meditating, reading, writing and eating good food. I meet new an amazing people each day and enjoy them fully and intensely, knowing that they will be leaving my life soon, like the tide of the ocean.

I've been spending a lot of time with a group of women from my yoga class and feel a great kinship with them. Women from Holland, Japan, Spain, Africa and Germany. It's so wonderful to come from such different backgrounds and be in a common place in our lives. We all deal with the same issues of joy and happiness, pain and sorrow.

John is from Australia by way of England. He has become a dear friend and someone who makes me laugh. I mean really laugh from deep in my belly. He has a Monty Python-eque sense of humor that is hilarious. He likes to go out at night and get "pissed as a newt". We have shared good yoga classes, lots of bintang beer and have been on the search for a good glass of red wine. He leaves tomorrow and I'll miss his friendship and presence.

Jerry was here for a few days from a small town in Ireland. He had never done yoga before and is quite shy. But he jumped in full force and gave it his all. Very nice, kind man. He left yesterday to go surfing in the Gili Islands before going home.

Wendy is a beautiful woman from Australia and is so inspiring to me. She is 62 and is an artist, does yoga every day, has 5 grandchildren and is gorgeous. We shared many coffees and cold beers in cafes together talking about life.

Anna Marie is a German woman who lives here in Bali and does the most beautiful beaded wall hangings I have ever seen. She's in her 70's and drives a jeep all over the island yelling at people to get out of her way. I just have to close my eyes and hang on tight. She has a beautiful home in a small village with her art studio and gorgeous paintings all around. She has several birds and a few cats who live with her. We sit on her balcony overlooking the rice fields and drink rice wine and smoke cigars and tell of our lives. I feel very close to her already.

I feel like I am on a slow moving freeway where people weave in and out of each other lives, smiling and waving and sometimes stopping at the side to share some experiences together. I wonder how I am so fortunate to be living this life.

How did my life become so open and so full of adventure and joy? I get stuck asking myself this question and feeling some sense of responsibility about it. But then I remember to just relax and enjoy everything as it comes.

I am so grateful for every day and want to savor each moment like it is the perfect morsel that I put in my mouth.