Post Hawaii - back in Utah

As soon as I returned to Utah from Hawaii I jumped full force into the implementation of the great salt lake yoga festival, which I've been working on intermittently since last year. It was a bit of a rough re entry....back to the hot, dry, smoky desert and away from the serene beach life I had been living.  Ahhh so it goes...

The festival turned out great but was a whole lot of work in the final two weeks before launch. We did several tv and print interviews and had to finalize all details. I loved the people I got to work with on the festival. Wonderful souls who were very committed to the success of the event - with no egos involved. What a breath of fresh air.

There were 35 teachers who came from around the globe, all at their own expense and volunteered their time to be there. I was so impressed with the talent they brought and the commitment they had in sharing the practice of yoga. We had 75 classes and workshops and about 500 people came. It was such an amazing weekend.

The day the festival ended I moved into my sweet little studio apartment in park city. I love it here. I'm right in the middle of everything and can walk or bike anywhere I need to go. There's also a great bus system that's free of charge. The leaves are turning and fall is here. It feels like an intense time of evolution and change.

The people I've met have all been so kind and sweet. Magical things have been happening since I got here: I was unloading all the stuff out of my car and a man appeared and said he couldn't let me do it alone and helped me get it all onto the cart and upstairs to the fourth floor. His name was michael. He gave me a hug and a smile and disappeared.

Yesterday i was having breakfast and met a sweet young man who had recently had his leg amputated after a skiing accident. He had the most beautiful smile and the greatest attitude. His heart was wide open and he was so grateful for all he has in his life. He was inspiring!  As I was finishing my conversation with him I felt a tug on my ponytail and there stood my dear friend Ingrid who I haven't seen in a very long time. Wow. What a sweet unexpected reunion with her, her husband Tim and daughter Hannah. They live about 50 miles from here so I never expected to run into them in park city.

I've been getting to spend wonderful time with Julian since I've been here too and that makes me SO happy. He loves coming to grandmas house in park city and we have fun riding bikes and playing games. We haven't been in the pool yet but we soon will :). We are all eagerly anticipating the arrival of his baby sister who he calls "Princess". She will be here anytime. We can't wait to meet her.

Life is so sweet....

Sitting in front of a roaring fire on what is probably my next to last night at the Moby Dick. What a wonderful gift this has been.

As I turned on the gas of the left hand burner of the big Wolf stove, I thought about how many meals I have cooked in this kitchen now. I love turning on the music - Nora Jones, Dr. Hook, John Hiatt, Bonnie Raitt, The Beatles, Mark Cohn, Sippie Wallace, Billie Holiday, Bessie Smith, Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Jim Croce have kept me company while chopping vegetables and making various culinary creations.

Stir fry vegetables with brown rice, potato croquet stuffed with beet and carrot, pasta with fresh greens from the garden, pizza with broccoli, cauliflower, garlic and jalapenos, Indian butter chicken, samosa, fresh bean burritos made with Gail's homemade chile verde have been some of my favorite meals.

I like turning on the heaters in the living room in the morning while I make my tea and when it gets warm enough, I roll out my yoga mat and move my body while looking at the gorgeous green trees outside, seeing the cats come by, sometimes a momma deer and her baby wander through the yard and peer in the window to see what I'm up to. It feels so calm and peaceful while I'm practicing.

I have enjoyed exploring the Long Beach peninsula and beyond. Astoria has come to be one of my favorite places. There's a really good vibe there. I like the long promenade at Seaside and the endless beach and cute little shops. I have made friends with the ladies at the Ocean Park library where I spend time checking out movies and doing a little research on the history of the area. It's been fascinating looking at old photos of the house I'm staying in and seeing the parties and people and some of the same furniture, fireplace and pictures on the walls that are still here now. The mirror above the fireplace is the same. I am looking into the same mirror each day that people 80 years ago looked into as they sipped a cocktail and played card games around the fire.

I have come to look forward to Dean's visit almost every day. He started out being the gruff 85 year old guy who wasn't gonna take any crap. But as we talk each day over tea, he has told me much about his family; his wife of sixty-something years, his daughter and his son who was killed in a motorcycle accident, his grandkids and great grandkids. I know a little about each one. He has told me of his childhood on the farm and of raising his own family and how great he and his wife work together. She knows everything there is to know about gardening. He feels that he doesn't have a whole lot of time left on this earth, and that's ok with him. He spends a lot of time helping older people in their homes and he helps out at the care center. He has a very soft heart inside of a gruff exterior. He reminds me of my dad in some ways and I wonder if he can talk to his daughter like he talks to me. Sometimes it's easier to be open with strangers.

Antonio and I have developed a good relationship too. He teaches me words in spanish and wants to work on his english with me. He's always interested in what I'm cooking in the kitchen and despite him thinking what I cook is strange, he always tries it and he pretends to like it. He has a sweet tooth and I try to keep the candy bowl in the kitchen filled for him. But sometimes in the wee hours of the lonely cold nights, it somehow seems to disappear.

Antonio

Fritzi and Keith, the owners of the Moby Dick will be home tomorrow or the next day. It will be nice to meet them in person. I will thank them for this rich experience I've had in their historic home and in their community.

And my dear friend Minette....she thought of me when this opportunity came up and recommended me to the owners. She knew it would be a good adventure for me here, and it certainly has. An adventure with so many levels. Thank you from the bottom of my soul, Minette.

Sound and Silence at The Moby Dick

I have been here at the Moby Dick Hotel inn-sitting for one week now, and I'm falling into a nice routine that looks like this:

I wake up each morning around 7 turn on the heat in my little corner room and wait while it gets toasty warm. I trod downstairs to the big kitchen and make myself some tea and some toast, arrange it on my little silver tray and take it backupstairs to my warm room. I read for a while, write in my journal and enjoy the coming day through the two big windows that look out on the back of the property and the Willapa Bay. There are two Buddhas sitting under ancient trees in the yard and I can see them both from my room. They comfort me.

I take a shower and head downstairs again, put on some music, roll out my yoga mat in the parlor/living room with the old piano and funky chairs and stretch my stiff body. The bed is a little bit hard for my taste in beds and I'm a little achy when I get up. But I've slept in so many different places in the last year or so, that it doesn't bother me too much.

Antonio arrives every day around 11 to feed the chickens, gather the eggs and tend the garden. On the weekends he's been busy painting all the trim on the hotel. His wife Lupe comes to clean the hotel and do the laundry once a week. Today, we chat a little when he's done. His english is limited (he says) but I think he understands a lot more than he lets on.

Today he asks me "jew no husband?" I explain to him that I've had two delightful husbands, but now I am single. I tell him I have a daughter (about 3 years younger than him, it turns out) and one grandson. He thinks about this a while and shakes his head "but jew beddy no old. How jew have grandson?" God bless him. And finally he asks "jew no boring here alone?"

Good question, Antonio....

Silence

I sit here on this Wednesday morning, the last day of August. The air is growing colder here in the Utah mountains, where I've been for the last month, almost.

I have had the amazing blessing of being able to spend time in a little cabin in the mountains. Alone and quiet. There is a lot of history here. It's the place where my husband and I met, had our courtship, became engaged and got married. Ten years ago.  My life has changed so much since then. In incredible ways.

And now I have been able to be here for about 20 days, most of them spent in silence. Just me, the trees and the constant sound of the rushing creek. I don't know when I have ever spent this much time alone and it's been an incredible experience. The universe has conspired to give me this important time, gift wrapped in a beautiful package.

Time to write, reflect, rest, meditate, listen to music, go for long walks and watch the season change from summer to fall.

This cabin is a small A-frame style. Simple and comfortable. The walk down from the parking area is somewhat steep and long. The cabin sits on a hillside off the main road with a beautiful stream in the back. There are not many neighbors here and it's isolated. Something that was scary to me in the past. I have always had a lot of people around me and stay busy with social events. I have always valued my alone time but didn't take much of it.

The front door

The deck in the back looks out over the stream. When I first arrived it was full and roaring. More water than I had ever seen because of the heavy rains of the spring and early summer. It's now slowed down considerably but still constantly rushing by. Never ending. Always there with it's comforting sound.

I love to be outside, reading or sitting for an hour in meditation. I roll my yoga mat out in the mornings before the sun gets too hot and stretch and move my body. I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

An angel after the rain

Julian has come and spent a few nights with me and he likes it here a lot. It's a great place for a little boy who wants to explore, climb on the rocks, pick flowers, swing in a hammock, feed the horses and build a little house out of pillows and blankets to sleep in. We brought him here for the first time when he was about 8 days old and made him a little bed in a pulled out dresser drawer. He was so tiny then....

rainy days in Ubud and life after yoga training

I'm writing from a small warung (cafe) and watching the rain pour down again.....

It's been raining hard here the last few days. So hard that the streets are flooding at times. I waited out the storm yesterday at my friend's cafe and then drove through the light rain and water up to my knees at times to get home. I was so happy to be in my warm dry house all evening. I made some delicious food, did some reading and went to sleep early. I have been enjoying cooking so much. Last night I made a dish of vegetables, tofu and noodles in a sauce of coconut oil, ginger, chili, tumeric, sesame seeds and dry coconut. It was oh so divine. I enjoyed each mouthful and was very thankful for it.

My friend Cady from California has been staying with me for a few days, but is now gone for a few days with a friend in the North of Bali. She will return to Ubud and stay for another week.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Sari and he asked me how things are going at the house. He asked if I felt good there and how my dreams are. I told him that I have had nothing but good feelings and good dreams since being in the house in Laplapan. Last night I had a wonderful dream about my grandma Reba. She and I were never very close and she passed away several years ago. It was a nice dream where she told me she is happy about what I'm doing and that all is well. Sari said that when a relative comes in a dream like that, looking healthy and happy, it means they are about to be reborn into the body of a child born into our family. I'm wondering now if anyone in my family is about to announce a pregnancy :)

He told me that when the current owner first bought the house, no one had lived in it for over 2 years. Sari spent the night there before any work had begun and he says that a beautiful woman dressed all in white came to him while he slept and told him she was sad that no one had been living there and no one had been making offerings to the gods. From that day on, he makes sure that offerings are made on a daily basis by his wife and by another woman in the neighborhood. Every day there are little offering baskets placed around the inside and outside of the home. They contain flowers, candies, rice and incense. They are so beautiful and it makes me feel comfortable and happy when I see them.

It has been one week since I completed my yoga training course. I have been trying to adjust and find my feet again in the "real" world outside of my little group that I spent so much time with in the last month. And I find that it's not easy. You would think that I would be in a state of bliss, filled with patience, gratitude and compassion. I feel that way when I do my morning practice for sure, but when I leave the house, I feel very impatient with other people. I am surprised by this, but I guess it's normal. I have been in an isolated world with like minded people all on the same journey for a month. Other people are in their worlds, doing their thing and it doesn't necessarily mesh with mine at the moment. I am still very much processing all the deep work I've done and it feels important to just stay with it, write a lot and let all the feelings come as they will. 

A yoga teacher graduate

Today is the last day of our month long training. So much to say once I process it all. I am so grateful for this experience and know now that this is why I came to Bali.

It's about so much more than postures. It's about a way of life, of taking care of our bodies, of the way we move about in the world.

Up until now I have just taken classes. I have never delved into the origins of yoga and known how it came about from the original teachings in India. And I have only just scratched the surface.....there is so much to know and I could be studying for the rest of my life and never know it all. It's fascinating and it makes so much sense.

Tonight we will celebrate with food and music and dancing and joy. I will miss my 5:30 mornings with a group of like minded souls. But I plan to carry forward all that I have learned and practice each day and grow and learn as much as possible. I will live with a yoga heart full of love and compassion. There are definitely challenges along the way, but now I see them as a chance to practice.

Om shanti. (translated means PEACE)

My free day

I had a lovely day of rest from yoga training on Saturday. Wendy and I went to the organic farmer's market and picked up some wonderful food. We had lunch at my friend Ketut's small cafe and then went for a swim at a local hotel. In the afternoon we went with my friend, the wonderful artist Ketut Budiana to a yoga class in Seminyak, about 45 minutes away from Ubud. The class was taught in Indonesian and was wonderful. We practiced in a local park, in front of a gorgeous museum. The large park was full of Indonesians playing with their children and getting wonderful fresh air and exercise. It was so very nice.

I have been teaching Mr. Budiana some English and he teaches me Indonesian. He is a delightful and incredibly talented man. He has been an art teacher at a local university for 30 years and has recently retired. He still has art exhibitions here in Indonesia as well as in Japan and Australia. He is a wonderfully creative soul with a great sense of humor. He was very shy with his English at first but is quickly getting some confidence and loves to play tricks on people. I adore the time I spend with him.

Each day in yoga training seems to get better and better. I look forward to it each morning and have no trouble getting up when the alarm goes off at 4:45. I love having 3 hours of yoga in the morning and more in the afternoon. I am learning so much that I will take with me in my life. I feel as if I am only now getting started. Yoga is the best medicine for me.

Yoga training day 12

I had a very hard time getting out of bed today. I didn't want to go to yoga this morning, but when I got up and got moving at my usual 5 am, things got better and I started to look forward to it as I do most mornings now.

Yesterday was hard. During our morning practice my bag got knocked into the water trough/moat that surrounds our open air yoga space. Everything was soaked. My favorite red leather purse, money, passport, cell phone, iPhone, vitamins, business cards, credit cards. It really rocked my world and made me feel so unsettled. I fished everything out of the water and spread it all out on the floor to dry. I had all the cash to pay my rent, so there were many bills on the floor along with everything of importance that I have with me. It was a very strange thing to see it all in front of me.

I realize there are much more important things happening in our world but this seemed like a major catastrophe for me personally. Perhaps the lesson is to not put so much importance on material things. But I have certainly been practicing this for the last 1.5 years as I have lived out of one suitcase and not had a home of my own in all that time......

We have been learning about Ayurveda medicine the last few days in class. It's fascinating. We have everything we need to know to heal our bodies through this practice. Bali is full of herbs and plants for every ailment. It would be so great if the western world could get back to this way of thinking instead of pouring the billions that we do into the drug companies. I did it myself for a very long time. I had good insurance and happily took everything that my doctor prescribed until I had a cabinet full of pills for anything I might come down with. I'm grateful to learn new ways of taking care of myself and others.

Kiyo and Sky

Sky, my yoga guru

Me at Tamapksering, the water temple

Our yoga group at the Water Temple

Harriett and Me

Yoga training day nine

I am loving this practice and feel so much better each day. Physically and emotionally. My head feels clear and I am an open vessel receiving the most amazing blessings. I am learning many new things about myself and the way I see the world. I feel like this is a very intense time of transformation as I continue on my life's journey.

Chanting in the morning is a beautiful way to get centered and grounded and clean things out. And it sounds so lovely. Each time we practice yoga, it gets deeper and deeper into my soul. This is not the yoga that I have been doing in California and Utah for the last 15 years at all. This is ancient, original practice that was started many thousands of years ago in India. The yogis knew all of these things about our bodies back then. I have come to understand more that real yoga is 95% lifestyle and 5% physical practice. And it is so much about the breath. I am learning new ways to breathe and use the breath inside my body.

As my body gets more conditioned, I find that I don't need as much food as I thought I did. And I crave healthy, natural foods. Well most of the time. As I sit here in the cafe with my computer I am enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie with my tea.  Some things may never change.

I am getting used to getting up at 5 am each day. Most days I look forward to my meditative motorbike ride to the studio in the dark. Except when it rains.

I haven't really seen anyone outside of my yoga group and my room mate for the last 10 days, which is different for me. I usually enjoy a pretty active social life, but all that has changed for now. And that feels alright. 

Our days are spent doing about three hours of practice in the morning that includes chanting, meditation, prayers, puja and yoga. In the afternoon we have another class on yoga poses, or dance or voice lessons. It's really wonderful and diverse. I feel like I'm getting such a well rounded experience. 

It's about 8 pm now. Just enough time to go home, have a shower and go to bed. Such is the life of a yogi in training.

Namaste

sama yoga and me

The word Sama means balance. 

In Bali, you say Sama Sama, which means “everything is ok. All is well. All is in balance.”

For the last 8 days I have been deeply (and I mean deeply) embroiled in a yoga certification course here in Bali. It is something I have wanted to do for many years and this wonderful opportunity came for me to train with a man who I highly respect. It seemed like the perfect time to do it. I was feeling nervous to start. It would mean a big commitment and more importantly it seemed, was the fact that I would have to get up at 5 am six days a week for one month.

I get up each morning when my alarm rings at 5 am. I pull on some clothes, grab my bag and start my motorbike in the dark. I say a little prayer, place some fresh flowers on my handlebars and start off.

I make my way down the road, past the rice fields and see women walking with loads of vegetables on their heads, going to the market to sell their wares. There are other women cleaning the streets with small brooms. When I get to the center of Ubud, the scene explodes in the pre dawn morning. So many people getting ready to set up the morning market. Cars and trucks and motorbikes everywhere, filled with fruits, vegetables, fish, eggs, cloth and toys. It’s amazing to me how much activity is packed in the day of a Balinese person. They are incredible, hard working people. 

I get through the morning traffic and make my way up the hill to the village of Pennastanan. There are very dark, narrow parts of the road with many potholes that I must watch out for. After eight days I’m getting to know the road pretty well. As I drive through the village, many men sit in the corner Banjar watching the morning’s happenings. I smile and give a nod of the head. They smile back. Later on, they will be getting their cocks ready for the daily cock fights. I saw my first one about a week ago and it was fascinating. It’s a deep tradition here and is part of the prayers and ceremony, although some men get addicted and end up loosing their rice fields in the process of betting on the fights.

I get to the very end of the lane, park my bike, take out my flashlight and make my way down a steep set of stairs, across a bridge, past a huge banyan tree, up some muddy steps and end up in a place where I must balance carefully for about 10 feet. One side is a rice field full of water, the other side is the deep jungle canyon, and in the middle there is a 12 inch wide path that I must walk in the dark. Then the last set of uneven stairs leads me to Sky’s house. We meet in the open air pavilion, sit quietly and begin our morning chanting. We chant 108 times, the same number of beads on a set of prayer beads, or mala. My prayer beads have come with me from Tibet and I use them each morning.We begin our chanting in the dark of the morning and I listen as the dawn envelopes me.

After chanting and meditation, we do our morning Surya Namaskar, or Sun Salutations as the sun is rising. It’s a very beautiful practice and an amazing way to start the day. After this we usually do a 2 hour yoga class before breaking for tea and breakfast. Then we are finished until 3:00 when we come back for class that is more focused on teaching and breaking down the poses. At 5:00 there is a discussion with Swami Gi, the man who taught Sky all he knows. He is a wealth of knowledge and teaches us about Sanskrit, chanting and ancient rituals from India. These are things I have been interested in for a very long time and I am honored to learn from these two men.

There are 9 women in the class and two men. We will all know each other very, very well before the month is out. The people are from all over the world; Latin America, Germany, Australia, Sweden, Denmark and Japan. It’s a wonderful, diverse group of people.

During the month we will have voice lessons that will help us teach, music lessons, chanting and puja lessons and field trips to local temples to pray with the Balinese people.

I am in awe. And I am tired. And I am already deeply moved by this experience. 

getting in shape for India

A yummy breakfast at Oggi



A little yoga first


At the yoga studio