Silence

I sit here on this Wednesday morning, the last day of August. The air is growing colder here in the Utah mountains, where I've been for the last month, almost.

I have had the amazing blessing of being able to spend time in a little cabin in the mountains. Alone and quiet. There is a lot of history here. It's the place where my husband and I met, had our courtship, became engaged and got married. Ten years ago.  My life has changed so much since then. In incredible ways.

And now I have been able to be here for about 20 days, most of them spent in silence. Just me, the trees and the constant sound of the rushing creek. I don't know when I have ever spent this much time alone and it's been an incredible experience. The universe has conspired to give me this important time, gift wrapped in a beautiful package.

Time to write, reflect, rest, meditate, listen to music, go for long walks and watch the season change from summer to fall.

This cabin is a small A-frame style. Simple and comfortable. The walk down from the parking area is somewhat steep and long. The cabin sits on a hillside off the main road with a beautiful stream in the back. There are not many neighbors here and it's isolated. Something that was scary to me in the past. I have always had a lot of people around me and stay busy with social events. I have always valued my alone time but didn't take much of it.

The front door

The deck in the back looks out over the stream. When I first arrived it was full and roaring. More water than I had ever seen because of the heavy rains of the spring and early summer. It's now slowed down considerably but still constantly rushing by. Never ending. Always there with it's comforting sound.

I love to be outside, reading or sitting for an hour in meditation. I roll my yoga mat out in the mornings before the sun gets too hot and stretch and move my body. I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

An angel after the rain

Julian has come and spent a few nights with me and he likes it here a lot. It's a great place for a little boy who wants to explore, climb on the rocks, pick flowers, swing in a hammock, feed the horses and build a little house out of pillows and blankets to sleep in. We brought him here for the first time when he was about 8 days old and made him a little bed in a pulled out dresser drawer. He was so tiny then....

Pool side musings

Hot desert heat envelopes me

Like a wool blanket

Even after the sun goes down, the thermometer still registers 98 degrees

Hot

Heavy

Heat

Wrapping around my brain

Families with kids eating pizza by the pool

Tattoos and hard black bodies

Red swim trunks on a football players body

Soaking in the solar rays

Energy

Heat

Vacation

Where will we all be at this time next year?

The young hotel worker on a break. Smoking. Looking down from his perch

Sizing everyone up

Wondering what I'm writing about

Hot wind like the breath of a dragon

I feel very disconnected from these people

Too many for a small hotel pool

Are the kids peeing in there?

Ambient mood music coming from 6 wall speakers around the chemical-filled liquid cool

Las Vegas 2011

I'm here in Sin City with my friend Amber. And it's hot here in the desert. I mean really, really hot. Yesterday I was walking down the strip and literally felt my sunglasses melting on my face. Bali was hot, but with lots of moisture. Vegas is just plain piping, direct, oven-heat, house-on-fire HOT.

I am tagging along with my friend on a business trip. It's pretty great because we're staying in a lovely business hotel. Not even a slot machine in site. They all know her here because this is her home for one week a month, so we're treated like royalty. The room is the size of an apartment and I get to hang out all day while she toils away selling top quality vitamins and supplements to wonderful health conscious stores.

Needless to say, Vegas is a strange place to be after Ubud, Bali. There are probably not two more complete opposite cities on the planet....I thought I would hate being here, but instead I look at it all with a child like curiosity. I'm amazed that we as a race have come to this place in our "civilization." Vegas is all about distraction from what it means to be a human being. It's about living in a complete fantasy world. Which I guess is ok for a few days a year when you're on vacation from your "real" life. But what about the people who live and work here? How strange it must be...

One of the most wacky things to me is that now there isn't even a human being at the card table. It's a computer generated image of a woman who looks you in the eye and deals cards to you via another computer in front of the chair where you sit..... It's all very bizarre and funny to me.

Tonight we are going to see a Cirque Du Soleil show all about the Beatles music. I'm looking forward to it.

Viva Las Vegas baby.

"Las Vegas is Everyman's cut-rate Babylon.  Not far away there is, or was, a roadside lunch counter and over it a sign proclaiming in three words that a Roman emperor's orgy is now a democratic institution.  "Topless Pizza Lunch."  ~Alistair Cooke

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."  ~Jeff Candido and Jason Hoff, advertising slogan written for the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, 2002

Back in Time

From my journal, dated May 17, 2011

Ubud, Bali

The sun rises and so do I. I bath my body and scent it with oils of lavender and lemon. I put the water on to boil and create today's tea: rosella flowers, lemongrass, ginger, palm sugar and cinnamon.

I dress and brush my teeth, turn on the fountain in the garden and roll out my yoga mat. 

I begin to stretch and move my somewhat stiff body after many hours of lying still in sleep. I think about my dreams of the night before. 

The garden

The people of my village are awake and active at this early hour. Roosters are crowing, dogs are barking and people are making their way to the market to sell their fruit and vegetables. They carry great piles of green leafy spinach, bananas and heavy coconuts on their heads as they walk the mile into town. 

At the small village temple next door there is constant construction. Across the road, the rice farmers in their bamboo hats begin to plant and harvest the rice, depending on the time in the three month cycle. They heard large groups of ducks into the fields, shepherding them with a long bamboo pole with a piece of cloth tied to the end. This way they can lift up the pole to warn motorists to watch out for the ducks as they cross the road. The ducks are very important to the rice farmers and to the rice crops. They eat bugs and weeds that would harm the rice plants, and naturally aerate the soil with their little duck feet. 

The fountain in the garden

At 7 am people begin to arrive at my home. RJ from London; a dear friend and confidant, Marcia from Portugal; my soul sister, teacher and gifted healer, Ketut and her husband Putu, brother in law Gede, and Komang and Mira, all from Ubud. 

We spend an hour chanting sanskrit verses and in meditation. It is an incredibly powerful practice and I am so grateful for it. The energy of having many people in the same room meditating is greatly magnified. I have never before practiced meditation on a consistent basis, and I am amazed at the many positive things it has brought to my life. 

My alter

After meditation, I lead the group in an hour and a half yoga practice. I am learning so much from this group of people and so grateful for this practice. 

When we finish, we share hot tea and fruit and finish by 10. 

My house

This day is a busy one; I have an appointment with Nyoman to get my new tattoo, bahasa Indonesian lessons, and dinner with a friend. In between I sneak into a spa and get some much needed waxing. I find on this day that with the removal of body hair comes an incredible lightness of being :)

Nyoman - creating my new tattoo

Selemat Ulang Tahun

The dawn of my 48th year

in this body

on this planet

Love abounds

Beauty surrounds

My heart is relaxed

I am humbled by the blessings in my life

I trust in the universe

I trust in myself

To be

Just to be

that is all I need to do

Doors open

Doors close

as butterflies dance around them

decorating with color and light

All we need to do is listen

Mountain Morning

Warm sunlight bathes my face
Ancient trees stand guard around my soul
The stream rushes furiously by
With no where to go
I am protected and held
Mt. Timpanogos watches over
Bits of pure white snow as her jewels
Butterflies of all colors float by
Doing the butterfly tango on this beautiful stage
There is a blissful nature spirit here
In spite of the mansions that have replaced the trees
Spirit lives on
Evolution is at work
I am peace
Peace is in me
Om shanti

Blogging

Ah, my poor little blog has been very empty and lonely these past weeks.

I am back in America and finding my way after living in the magic of Bali for seven months. And things are playing out in amazing and wonderful ways.

I plan to spend the next several days writing and reflecting as I am tucked away in my little cabin in the mountains of Sundance.

I feel very inspired to focus on my writing and now is the time to do it. I am surrounded by beautiful pine trees, a rushing stream and majestic Mt. Timpanogos with only my thoughts and words to put down on paper, er computer. I have volumes of hand written journals to refer to  and many ideas are peculating around in my brain....

Many thanks for your kind support always and for reading my words.

Terima kasih banyak!
(thank you very much!)