Monday, November 28, 2011

Amma the Hugging Saint of India

I first heard of Amma about 5 years ago when my friend Youlanda told me she was going to see her. "She hugs people" is what she said to me. I found this a strange and beautiful concept back then.

Amma is a 58 year old woman from India. She is the epitome of compassion. She receives every person who comes to her, day and night and gives them all a healing hug. Her followers are huge in number and she now has many centers throughout the world.



When I saw that she would be at her center in San Ramon and that there would be a public program, I decided to go. I had no idea what the evening would hold.....

My friend Kenton and I met in the East Bay and drove to San Ramon together. We parked in the large lot of a hotel where a shuttle would take us to the M.A. Center. There were about 20 people there waiting for a ride there was crackly excitement in the air. Jessica, a young woman sitting next to me in the van told me about her experiences with Amma and how it had changed her life. She has done several retreats with her and gone to various cities in the US where Amma was speaking. She said we were there on a very special night because after everyone had received their hug - which would be sometime around 9 am (what?), Amma would perform weddings and a special ceremony that would include feeding the children.

When we arrived in the Center parking lot, we were unloaded and then loaded into another van that would take up the 1/2 mile to where the program was taking place. It felt like a great adventure. When we arrived, the first thing I saw was the biggest tent kitchen on the planet. A huge food production was taking place and the smell was of Indian spice heaven. People were lined up on either side of the road and we were told that Amma, (or Mother) would be driving up any moment. Everyone was very excited and soon were chanting and singing together. I felt as though I had been dropped into another universe. One that was colorful and exciting and smelled and looked a little like India. But with lots of green port o' potties standing in rows like soldiers waiting to serve.

We waited about 10 minutes and soon a small car came up the lane with the beautiful face of Amma radiating from the back seat.  She was dressed in white and smiled and waved as the car drove slowly past. The gates opened and the car disappeared behind them.

We were told that we needed to get a numbered token to exchange for a hug with Amma, so we set off in search of the token person, who we found inside the huge dining hall. There were probably 500 people in the hall snacking on samosa, drinking tea and talking about their various experiences with Amma. There was a big screen at the front of the room and Amma could be seen on stage in the Temple, which was not far from the dining hall. We were told that the temple was full and we could watch everything from there until our number was called. Looking around the room I noticed that there were all kinds of people there from every walk of life, it seemed. But the one thing that struck me is that the energy and excitement were clear and there was a strong feeling of love in the big room.

Soon it was announced that dinner would be served and we were asked to go outside and form a line, which moved pretty fast and soon we were back inside the hall with plates pile high with saag paneer, briyani rice, chickpea daal and naan.  It was beautiful and so delicious.

While in the food line, we met Vir, a Sikh man who had seen Amma many times. He was funny and we became instant companions. He told us that his sister was helping to set up the event and because of that he was able to see Amma when she first arrived. We saw Vir several times throughout the evening and at one point he introduced us to his sister, a tall, beautiful Indian woman in her 50's.

After our delicious meal, we walked over to the temple to check things out. It's a large hall with 3 sections of folding chair seating in the middle, floor seating in the front where live music was being played and people sat and meditated or prayed, and an upper floor with bleacher style seating.

The stage was elevated and lit up like a Hollywood movie set. There were lines of people on either side waiting patiently for their moment. Ushers helped to move the line along and large signs were held up showing the number of the current group.We waiting a few hours until our number was shown. Feeling giddy and excited, we went to the front of the room and proudly showed our numbers to the attendant. "Oooooo...so soooorry. This number has a Z behind it so it means you will be last in the group. It will be several more hours...." At this point it was almost midnight. We had been there for 5 hours, and now it may be 6 or 7 am before we get close to Amma. We weren't sure if we were up for it. Just then, Vir's sister appeared and asked how we were doing, and if we had our tokens. We told her we did and showed her the number. "Oooooooo" she said with a wobble of her head. "It will be some time before you get to see Amma....but if you don't want to wait, I can take you now, since it's your first time." A beautiful angel had appeared right before us. She was so kind.

She ushered us to the front and we were given instructions on what to do and not do when you are in front of Amma. We were taken up the steps and put into a succession of folding chairs, then as we got closer, we got onto our knees, and suddenly, there I was, in front of the hugging saint I had been waiting for all night. She was all in white with a silver crown-looking hat on her head. She sat in a simple chair with a yellow cloth umbrella high over her to protect against evil. She had a huge, loving smile for everyone. As I crawled closer, I suddenly felt hands on my shoulders, and then an attendant pushed my head forward into Amma's lap. As her arms wrapped around me, she leaned down and whispered something in my ear that I could not understand. In the next instant, I was pulled back turned around and ushered to the side of the stage. The encounter lasted about 5 seconds.

As I look back on this event, I realize that it was very important. There was so much love in that room that first came from one woman and radiated out into every person there. The love grew and expanded and surrounded us all and we were part of the chain. I felt great inspiration by what one woman who gives hugs can do in the world, and thought about what our world could look like if we all just embrace each other and share a smile and a hug.  And keep the hug chain going...

Monday, November 21, 2011

Shoot the Moon

In my dream
I am sitting under a gorgeous full moon
Off white
Huge and round
Shining down on me
Only me
Bathing me in his/her soft light
Like sweet white arms reaching around me
Holding me
Embracing me
I am connected to the moon
Our minds are melding

Then I watch in confusion as two streaks of light
Shoot upwards
Towards the moon
And hit it
Hard
The moon shudders
And shakes
And falls from the sky
It is no more
A profound sadness embraces me then




Saturday, November 12, 2011

A Moby Dick Photo Montage

The living room

Favorite chair

The foyer

 Corner table where I did a lot of writing

The front gate


The front of the hotel

H
Yummy carrots in the garden

Some of the surviving chickens


The yoga yurt

Heading out to the sauna hut
Buddha

The bay behind the hotel

Trail out to the bay

The back of the Moby Dick with freshly mowed lawn


Antonio at work

Another Buddha

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Sitting in front of a roaring fire on what is probably my next to last night at the Moby Dick. What a wonderful gift this has been.

As I turned on the gas of the left hand burner of the big Wolf stove, I thought about how many meals I have cooked in this kitchen now. I love turning on the music - Nora Jones, Dr. Hook, John Hiatt, Bonnie Raitt, The Beatles, Mark Cohn, Sippie Wallace, Billie Holiday, Bessie Smith, Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Jim Croce have kept me company while chopping vegetables and making various culinary creations.

Stir fry vegetables with brown rice, potato croquet stuffed with beet and carrot, pasta with fresh greens from the garden, pizza with broccoli, cauliflower, garlic and jalapenos, Indian butter chicken, samosa, fresh bean burritos made with Gail's homemade chile verde have been some of my favorite meals.


I like turning on the heaters in the living room in the morning while I make my tea and when it gets warm enough, I roll out my yoga mat and move my body while looking at the gorgeous green trees outside, seeing the cats come by, sometimes a momma deer and her baby wander through the yard and peer in the window to see what I'm up to. It feels so calm and peaceful while I'm practicing.

I have enjoyed exploring the Long Beach peninsula and beyond. Astoria has come to be one of my favorite places. There's a really good vibe there. I like the long promenade at Seaside and the endless beach and cute little shops. I have made friends with the ladies at the Ocean Park library where I spend time checking out movies and doing a little research on the history of the area. It's been fascinating looking at old photos of the house I'm staying in and seeing the parties and people and some of the same furniture, fireplace and pictures on the walls that are still here now. The mirror above the fireplace is the same. I am looking into the same mirror each day that people 80 years ago looked into as they sipped a cocktail and played card games around the fire.



I have come to look forward to Dean's visit almost every day. He started out being the gruff 85 year old guy who wasn't gonna take any crap. But as we talk each day over tea, he has told me much about his family; his wife of sixty-something years, his daughter and his son who was killed in a motorcycle accident, his grandkids and great grandkids. I know a little about each one. He has told me of his childhood on the farm and of raising his own family and how great he and his wife work together. She knows everything there is to know about gardening. He feels that he doesn't have a whole lot of time left on this earth, and that's ok with him. He spends a lot of time helping older people in their homes and he helps out at the care center. He has a very soft heart inside of a gruff exterior. He reminds me of my dad in some ways and I wonder if he can talk to his daughter like he talks to me. Sometimes it's easier to be open with strangers.

Antonio and I have developed a good relationship too. He teaches me words in spanish and wants to work on his english with me. He's always interested in what I'm cooking in the kitchen and despite him thinking what I cook is strange, he always tries it and he pretends to like it. He has a sweet tooth and I try to keep the candy bowl in the kitchen filled for him. But sometimes in the wee hours of the lonely cold nights, it somehow seems to disappear.

Antonio


Fritzi and Keith, the owners of the Moby Dick will be home tomorrow or the next day. It will be nice to meet them in person. I will thank them for this rich experience I've had in their historic home and in their community.

And my dear friend Minette....she thought of me when this opportunity came up and recommended me to the owners. She knew it would be a good adventure for me here, and it certainly has. An adventure with so many levels. Thank you from the bottom of my soul, Minette.





Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Coming Home

On this day, November 1, 2011 (11-1-11) I wake up very early and feel the need to write. The pen flows across the paper at lightening speed. I am not thinking, just writing.

I'm in my bed, in the Native American room at the Moby Dick Hotel, week four and I ask myself Why Am I Here? What has this last month been about? 

It's about hibernation. Quiet time. Resting. Gathering my strength and my courage. Ready to jump off to the next adventure. I have been spending time with Me. Loving myself. Trusting myself. 

The closer I get to my soul, the less far ahead my vision becomes. I don't need to see the future. The future is right now. The next moment. I enjoy each one. Each breath, each sip of hot rosella tea with slices of fresh ginger, each morsel of food that passes my lips, each sip of red wine and each square of chocolate. Each dish I wash in the hot soapy water, each page I turn of my book, each episode of Ally McBeal or Arrested Development I watch on the DVDs rented from the library. 

It's SO quiet here. Quiet quite unlike any I have ever heard. The stars and the trees, the ocean and the bay and the crow of the chickens keep me company. 

The fear that creeps into my mind and my stomach in the dark of night are here to teach me. I am strong. I am protected and I am loved.

How strong are my beliefs and my practices when I am alone? It's easy when I'm around like-minded souls, but when I'm alone for long periods, then the truth comes out.

And I like the truth that I see.