Nothingness

 Julian and I are driving home through Provo Canyon. Somehow the subject of extinction comes up. We talk about what that means - for the animals on the planet, for the trees, the fish, the birds. 

We imagine a world with no whales, no redwood trees, no elephants, no parrots, no seagulls, no woodpeckers, no giraffes....

and he says "what about people? what if they are extinct? what then?" 

I say "yes, what then?" 

He thinks about it for a while and decides there would be nothing. 
             Nothing at all. 

"Until we start it all over again" says he. 

The light in me honors the light in you

Julian is spending the night with me. He's building a fort out of all the couch cushions and every pillow in the house. When he's finished, he says "look Nana, I made a Namaste Tunnel."
"Wow, cool. What happens in a Namaste Tunnel?" I ask.
"Well, you get inside and lay down, you put your hands up like this (prayer position in front of his heart), you say Namaste and you think about all things you don't do very well and you want to do better. And you just keep thinking about things you want to do better and you keep saying Namaste and when you get out it's all ok."

Wow. This little buddha, this old soul, this little pure being of light. He blows my mind and expands my brain on a constant basis. He's such a gift in my life and a gift to the planet. I'm very happy that he chose our family to join on this plane....

I'm always reminded of this song by Marshall Chapman I heard for the first time just before Julian was born. 

"Call the Lamas!" (I saw a little Buddha in the checkout line at the grocery store today)

Namaste
Om Shanti
 

Changes in attitude. Changes in lattitude.

I spend a lovely summer and fall in the mountains of Park City. It was/is a time of profound change, internally and externally. Moving through changes in my being. In my soul. In my relationships. Changes in my body and in my mind. Doing my best to gracefully dance with this thing called men-o-pause and learning so much along the way. Feelings of sadness that this time of a woman's life has been demonized and marginalized throughout history.


"There's something wrong with her. She's old. She's dried up. Let's put her in a corner. She's no longer vibrant or relevant or important. Let's put her on drugs to make her forever young and beautiful."

But it's the natural course of things, isn't it? We get older and wiser and more beautiful with all the knowledge and experiences gained in our life journey.

I never knew, never needed to know until I arrived here.
In this place.
In my life.

Feeling crazy. Heavy. Mortal.

Feeling abundant. Feeling alive. Feeling ready to create the next chapters.
Feeling like I have arrived.
At a very important juncture.

I get to choose how I want to dance....

The little Buddha

Seven year old Julian is sitting quietly. I can see he's thinking about something and really mulling it over in his mind. After a while he says 

"Hey Nana, what if I wore a mask of myself on Halloween? That would be pretty cool wouldn't it?"

Afterwards I wondered to myself how many of us are already doing this.....

Seasons

The weather grows cold
golden leaves do their slow spiral dance
toward the earth

compacting
reducing
resting
changing
sleeping
weeping
meditating
trusting
becoming

phoenix rising

She is......

Happy Birthday, Your Holiness!

On July 6, 2015 His Holiness the 13th Dalai Lama turned 80 years old.
What a momentous occasion!

On this day, I went with Julian, Anicah and Taylor to a beautiful place in the Utah mountains called Cascade Springs. Such a peaceful spot with multiple springs surrounded by boardwalk paths and paved walking trails. The trees are numerous and lush and the birds and butterflies kept us company.

We stopped at a spot near a shallow creek and I told Julian about the Dalai Lama's birthday and that we would sing a prayer for him, and offer a shiny polished crystal stone to the water in his honor. I taught him "Om Mani Padme Om" and we repeated it a couple of times. I looked at my phone just then to take a photo and it started freaking out.....red and gold and blue lines everywhere, waving and moving across the little screen...something I had never seen it do.
I pushed the button to take a photo and here is the result:

Om Mani Padme Om

I love it, and it looks to me like the moment felt. Light and pink and beautiful. 

The power of mantra. The power of prayer.

The power of love.

 

Southern Utah

Shutter and shake
Swirl and bake
A pond. Leaves floating
Giant moths and birds
Mosquitos and gnats
Indian art
Ancient language
Communications
From another time and space

What are they trying to tell us?

It is written in stone
Red rocks
Arches and caves
Slick rock and spires
Navajo sandstone layers
Stories in time
Tell me what you know

I am listening.....

Prescott, Sedona, Grand Canyon May 2015

In Beaver, Utah on a rainy night.....

Hoover Dam

Visiting my dear friend Christy

The red rocks of Sedona

Bell Rock trail

Bell Rock Vortex

Sedona church

Sedona art

Petroglyphs near Sedona

Ancient Petroglyphs

Picnic at the art studio

The grandest of canyons

What an amazing view!

Grand Canyon

Loved being there!

The Desert Watchtower at Grand Canyon

Inside the Watchtower

Ancient Indian apartment building

Jerome, Arizona

The Journey

In the dark of night

in the light of day

under the lush moon

The voice teaches me

whispers......

There is no "I"

We are all one

A kaleidoscope of color

rainbow neon

moving 

flashing

flying

beckoning

inviting me in

to dance

As ancient as the stars

there is no time

The profound 

sadness

grief

tears

devastation

of the planet

passes through my being

Mama Gaia

I hold it in my arms

witness it

feel it

rocking it like a child

With an exhale as old

and wide as the planets

I let it go

Dissolving

into LOVE

 

Northern Thailand

Unfamilar birds call
Incense wafts
Butterflies dance
Monks chant
Leaves float softly to the ground 
Goats trim the banana tree
The sacred mountain 
stands guard over me
While my body gently sways 
for hours
in the green hammock
Rocking me like a child 
Profound peace 
permeates 
Every cell
Of my being