Friday, October 28, 2016

White Buffalo Calf Woman

She is there
Inside a dream
A goddess
The wise grandmother

On the back of Tatonka
Sacred buffalo
Riding towards the tribe
All nations assembled
For the coming of a new day

Water protectors
Peaceful warriors
Standing strong
Poetic
Proud
Resolved
To save our Mother
Protect her

Through broken promises
And white lies



Sunday, September 11, 2016

The first people

At a point in time several weeks ago I am invited to attend a Sun Dance Ceremony at the Northern Ute Reservation in Utah. It will be an overnight trip with a few friends - two of which had attended before and know the intricacies of these native american ceremonies. The morning before we leave for the 2 hour drive, we are given an overview by Mukeet, a man of 78 who has studied and written about native american tribes and cultures for many years. He's a funny guy, very alive with curiosity, a healthy sense of humor and a strong need to dance!

Before we leave, Mukeet gives a blessing and says a prayer to the four directions and to the creator that we have a safe journey and that we have a good experience in the ceremony and add our respect good energy to it. We smoke a pipe together, as is the custom when praying. We burn sage and sweetgrass and it all feels so good.

After lunch we take off. Three cars, five people. We drive to Roosevelt, Utah and stop at the corner store - which is really out in the middle of nowhere. We are looked at with curiosity and I feel the need to put out a respectful vibe. We are on someone elses land. We don't really belong, but we are here with a feeling of unity, peace and a healthy dash of curiosity ourselves.


We drive out to the ceremony site on reservation land and Mukeet tries to get in touch with the people who invited us. He cannot reach them, so we sit just inside the gate, looking like giant sore thumbs sticking out in this community. It is a strange feeling, one that I am unfamiliar with. It certainly crosses my mind that we should just leave. Maybe we're not wanted here.....

It's getting late and the sun will set soon. Finally someone tells us we can take a spot and put up our tents. I have my gypsy van, so all I have to do is park. The others set up their tents while we put together a simple dinner which we enjoy by lantern light. We can hear the dance and the drums still going, and after dinner we begin to walk to the lodge that has been built out of trees for this ceremony. A giant full moon begins to rise in the East and it is blood red. Incredible!
As we arrive, the dance is just ending for tonight. They will begin again in the morning at sunrise.

Here is what little I know about the Sun Dance: Men choose (or are chosen by the chief) to dance in this ceremony. It lasts for four days and the men commit to no food or water during that time. It is a personal dance and a dance for peace in the tribe and peace on earth. Dancers sacrifice for the good of the tribe. In some Sun Dance ceremonies (not this one) the dancers pierce their skin and give their blood to the spirits. The Sun Dance is one of many ceremonies that were banned or prohibited when we white folks came along and took over and thought we knew best.

A lodge is built of trees in a circular shape with the opening to the East. In the center is a large and beautiful tree that represents the center of the universe. A direct line to the Great Spirit. The dance is all done around this tree. On the West side of the tree, a great Buffalo head watches over the ceremony. At this particular dance there are 24 men giving of themselves.

We wake at 5:30 am and make our way over to the lodge with our chairs. The dancers are moving around, covered in a sheet when not dancing. Some have decided not to speak during the time of the ceremony. As the sun begins to rise, all people who are there face the east. The drum beats, songs are sung and everyone greets the first rays of the sun with smiles while holding out their hands and bathing themselves in the light. It is one of the most beautiful things i have ever taken part in.....

We speak with the dancer who invited us, a man from the Southern Ute tribe in Colorado named Shane. He is the epitome of calm and goodness. Such a beautiful soul. He imparts some amazing words of wisdom.

We go back to our campsite and have a simple breakfast of tea, fruit and delicious blueberry muffins, and then head back over to the lodge. Things are just getting started for the day long dance. An American flag is brought in and raised in honor of a native man who fought in World War II.

A large drum is brought in and another at the side as a back up. Men sit around the drum and laugh and talk and smoke. We receive mixed reception. Some people look at us with distaste, others are very welcoming. One of the dancers comes and shakes each of our hands. Then he looks at us seriously and says "watch and learn". It sends a small chill over me because I know he's right.

The chief of the tribe says a blessings and asks for peace. Peace in the tribe and peace on our planet. He asks that everyone be kind and helpful to each other. That we love and take care of our sacred home.

The dance begins. Men come from the sides of the circle where they have their own space - for sleeping, resting and to be when not dancing. They dance as they are moved to dance - when they feel it. The chief is presiding over the dance and is in the center of it all. The drum beats get stronger and stronger. More men dance and they each have a wooden whistle around their neck that they blow as they are dancing. Each carries feathers or sprigs of plants as they dance. Women come with bundles of plants and herbs to offer the dancers. They take them and rub their bodies and place some of the plants in their hair. Women and men in the audience shake rattles as the dancers move their bodies around the sacred tree.

A grandmother comes to the circle with a boy of about 5 years. She speaks with the chief and asks for a blessing for the child. The chief announces to the dancers that the boy is blind and needs their healing. What follows is an incredible, powerful dance...beating of drums in time to heartbeats. I can feel the beat of the drum in the middle of my forehead. I am up out of my chair, as are all of the others in the audience. We move to the drum, palms open, sending our healing energy to the boy. The drum gets louder, the energy raises to the heavens, straight up the trunk of the magnificent tree in the center.

Soon I am so full, so filled with the powerful energy, I feel the need to vomit. To let go of everything this is no longer serving me. Energetic garbage. A most powerful and needed release.

As I drive home that day I am filled with a most humble gratitude and strong and clear sense of truth....

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Agua Blessing

Healing water
wash me clean

Thank you Agua
thank you Gaia

Take away
that which ails me
absorb the pain
of my heart
make room for our healing


Music is a doorway
Moving swaying feeling
into it

My soul knows
the vibration there
It is home

Home is where the heart is
Relax
Breathe
The breath of life
No pain
Space
Expansion
Flying Floating Healing

The road is bumpy
no one said it was easy

Magic sparkles on the water
where two rivers meet
soothing my heart

The native chief
prays for us
rattle and feathers
his sacred instruments
mouth open wide
in song

Thank you holy being

Everything little thing's gonna be alright

Friday, July 22, 2016

Centered

Staying calm
Staying steady
In the midst of chaos
Curveballs
Speed bumps on the road of life


100 degree days
Smoldering blacktop
Car groans and grinds in the heat

What does it all mean
A lot

Or nothing

Staying above it all
Most of the time

We get to witness
A world gone mad
Like in the futuristic movies
But it's real

Or is it

Quiet time
Prayers
Practice
Nature
The salve that heals me

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The business of health

I rarely go to the doctor. I rely on my intuition and do my best to be in close touch with how my body is feeling each day. I eat healthy most of the time and pay attention to what I put into my motor.

My feeling is that the business of "health" has gotten way out of hand. In the last 2 years I have I have been shuffled from one insurance company to the next because of our government sponsored insurance programs - which is a great idea but has some kinks to be worked out. I purchase one plan and then it changes - most of the time the premium doubles within the first six months for whatever reason, then I have to shop for a new plan.

Every human being is entitled to health care and no one should go into debt or die because they cannot afford insurance.

So I have moved to a new town, start to get settled and do some research to find a nurse practitioner/physicians assistant that I can establish a relationship with. I go once every couple of years to have a once over and make sure all is well.

I arrive at the address and it's a MASSIVE building that houses every kind of health crisis office you can think of - sleep disorders, foot and ankle problems, emergency care, sinus problems, pain management, cataracts, etc etc. There is actually a separate office for each of these things and more. The menu is extensive.

After parking at the back of a football size parking lot on a 98 degree day and finding my way to the second floor office, I walk in and feel like an alien who just landed on a foreign planet. I am handed an ipad device and told to fill out my health history before the PA can see me. I wait with a room full of the sick, the twisted, the wounded, the old, the young.....my mind is reeling.

Very soon I am called by a young woman to follow her. We go into the underworkings of this gigantic place. There are a line of 20-something young blond women students working computers. In putting chart information, making phone calls, looking at test results, keeping the wheels turning....

I talk with the young assistant after she shows me to my private room. She takes my blood pressure and my temperature and asks me a few questions. She's nice enough. She tells me to get undressed, put on the delightful gown and Brooke, the nurse practitioner will be in to see me soon.

She gently knocks on the door and walks in. She is in her mid 30's, sporty looking, all business but kind and listens to me as I explain the process of going through menopause, the weight gain and the little spot on my skin that seems to be changing a bit with the summer sun exposure.

Within 60 seconds of our being in the same room together, she strongly suggests that she write me a prescription for anti-depressants and that will solve every little thing. She talks about the different brands, making them sound oh-so-sexy, just like the drug commercials.

"You may feel a little flat at first, and there could be some anxiety and muscle tension as your brain gets used to the medicine, but then everything will be just fine. I can go ahead and write that for you now."

HOLY SHIT

In the movie scene of my mind I run screaming through the room full of waiting, medicated people, down the stair case, through the parking garage to the safety of my oven of a car waiting in the hot summer sun. I blast the AC, turn up the volume of the stereo and drive baby drive......

I thank Brooke, tell her it was nice to meet her, get dressed and walk away from this bizarre horror scene....

Friday, May 20, 2016

This and that

Cool, clear stream exploring
The subtle valley
The greenest green
Telling her secrets
As I listen intently
Happy on her banks
Her lucious curves
Go on forever
No beginning
No end


Friday, May 6, 2016

Adventures never cease

And before I can even finish writing about my last adventure to Asia, I took my first journey to South Ameica - Ecuador to be exact.

I spent two mostly wonderful weeks in the area in and around the beautiful colonial city of Cuenca. I arrived a few hours after a massive 7.8 magnitude earthquake that killed over 700 people and injured close to 30,000. Lives changed forever in a few minutes. This fact definitely changed the tone of my experience and the time I spent there was covered in concern and sadness alongside of mind blowing scenery and beautiful, kind people.

Intense is the word that describes my experience. Intense beauty. Intense concern. Intense love and appreciation. I also got intensely sick one day of the trip. There were many smaller earthquakes and aftershocks almost daily which made for intense questions of my safety.

I felt the rumbling of the earth beneath me and realized that we are so not in charge here. As much as we like to think we are. Mother earth is sad and she is angry. She's had enough abuse.

The image of a giant carnival ride comes to mind. Someone throws on the brakes and the huge machine comes to a grinding, squealing halt. And then the engine master puts the whole thing in reverse. She very slowly and majestically starts in the opposite direction from whence she came.

More thoughts and stories to come....





Saturday, February 27, 2016

Cambodian Independence Day

The next day we have another divine breakfast on the terrace and soon three large buses pull up in front of the hotel. They are loaded with all the children from Lidia's children's home. So many smiling faces greet us as we all board different buses. It is Cambodian Independence day and we are taking the children to Phnom Kulen, a popular place for local people. It's about a two hour ride and we laugh and sing all the way up the steep winding road.




There are many huts available for picnics on the riverside and we have reserved three of them. It is a beautiful and very sacred place for Hindus and Buddhists. In the river there are thousands of small carvings etched into the riverbed including a large one of Lord Vishnu. It is a place that represents fertility and is also the place where the king of Cambodia declared independence from Java in the year 804 - although this independence day is celebrated as the end of the terrible Khmer Rouge regime in which over two million Cambodians died or were murdered by the government. (see the movie The Killing Fields)

There is a very large Buddhist temple on the top of the mountain which was built in the 16th century. It holds an enormous reclining buddha, the largest in the country. The temple is our first stop. There are many stairs leading up to the temple and lots children begging for money, people selling trinkets, food and indigenous healing roots of some kind. Before we go up the steps, we stop at a money changer cart where I give them five US dollars and they give me a thick stack of Cambodian bills which I can hand out and use for offerings at the temple.

The temple is beautiful and I enjoy walking around looking at all the ornate carvings, ponds, small alters and all the nooks and crannies. There are many Cambodian people here receiving blessings from the monks and giving thanks. I walk to a smaller temple at the back and there is a beautiful old monk dressing in flowing orange robes giving blessings. I sit down near him and wait my turn. I sit in front of him and he sprinkles me with holy water, chants and prays for my good health and safe journey and then he ties a red string around my wrist. He is a very special creature and I feel like I'm in a happy trance as I sit in front of him. I place my hands together at my heart and give him my humble thanks and then join the rest of our group.


We walk down to the river and to the picnic area and enjoy a simple meal of rice and chicken that the cook at Lidia's school has prepared for everyone. There is definitely a feeling of celebration in the air. It's nice to see so many local people enjoying the day with their families. After lunch we go for a swim. Everyone is dressed very moderately, some women in long pants and t-shirts. I feel very underdressed in my swim suit top and shorts. But we have a great time in the cold water, everyone laughing and splashing and talking.



I get out of the river and take a walk along the opposite side, where I explore the ruins of a very old temple. It is all fallen down but there is a beautiful spirit as I linger there. I walk further down and come to an amazing water fall. I can see that further down the water is falling again but I don't want to go to close in the shallow river. One of the children invites me to follow her, and we cross the river and go down many steep steel steps. Down down down...suddenly we are in front of the river again and three glorious waterfalls. They must be 50 feet high and fall into a serene pool at the bottom where many people are swimming.  What fun! I love watching Dick with the kids. He's such a big kid himself and they adore him as much as he loves them. After a while in the water, we head back to the picnic area where we enjoy fresh fruit and we all have a rest on cool bamboo mats in the shade of the open air shelter.

Around 4 pm we load the buses and head back to Siem Reap. It is a much quieter ride on the way home. We are all tired and happy. 

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Siem Reap, Cambodia - Temples and Bikes

We arrive in Siem Reap in the afternoon on January 4. Walking out of the airport we are all struck by the heat. We had to layer up while in Laos and now the sweat immediately begins to pour from our pores. We are met by two vans and a couple of guides. We put the luggage in one van and we are all stuffed into another. Luckily the hotel is not far from the airport.

Leaving Laos
Siem Reap is a booming metropolis compared to where we've been. Because of the Angkor Wat temples, millions of tourists come to Siem Reap each year. It's a smallish town that is totally focused on tourism. I wonder what it was like before the temples were re-discovered. We check into the lovely Kralanh Petite Villa, a lovely boutique hotel with six rooms, which we have taken over. It is a sweet place and I'm glad we will be here for 5 nights. Lidia from Together For Cambodia, an organization that Dick supports meets us there. We have a nice chat and plan to meet her for dinner. We have some nice time to relax and go for a swim until then.

Welcome drink at Kralanh Petite Villa
Carlo and darling Caitlin
Later in the evening we meet at a funny local restaurant where there is karaoke happening and beer flowing. There are about 15 of us and we have a nice time dancing, eating and singing. It's very festive. Until it comes time to pay the bill. The "drink girls" are notorious for adding extra drinks and beers that were never ordered. They begin to pull empty beer bottles from under the table that were probably there before we arrived. So there was a lot of back and forth until we finally came to an agreement on the bill.


Lidia and Dick Grace

Urmi and Richard
The next day we go to Lidia's school for a tour. I was here last year when they had first broken ground and it's amazing to see it complete now. She's done a tremendous (and huge) job planning and working with the builders. There are separate boys and girls sleeping buildings, a school building with library and computer rooms and a kitchen with study hall/community room above. It warms my heart to see Lidia's dream a reality. I first met Lidia in 2014 when she was honored by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in an event that I had the honor of helping to produce, Unsung Heroes of Compassion. 

But the heat is getting to us and we are all a bit wilted by the time the tour ends....luckily we have the evening free and Urmi and I get a luxurious one hour foot massage followed by some divine noodles from a street cart (cost $1). We considered going to a place called Happy Pizza where they make pizza crust infused with ganja, but decided against it. For this time anyway....

Early the next day, after a delicious breakfast at the hotel (fresh fruit, banana pancake, hot coffee, and eggs) we load up in the vans and head to and Angkor Wat temple complex that spans more than 500 acres. We are met there by a company that provides bike rentals. Each mountain bike has our name on it and a helmet to match.

We get situated with seat heights, gears, helmets, etc and then we are off on a bike adventure. What an incredible experience, biking through these ancient cities. We bike around the moat that runs outside of the great Angkor Wat temple. We peddle past the city walls and gates, each gate with a special meaning according to the direction it faces, and each with the beautiful stone head in the likeness of King Jayavarman, who built this city over many years. Very beautiful, kind faces with huge entrances to bike through - although they were originally built to walk or push a small cart through. We stop along the way and our guide fills us in on the history of this amazing place. I love it here. I could stay for months just exploring the absolutely otherworldly temples that seem to go on and on.....


The bike trail is narrow and our group of 13 rides on for about 2 hours with many stops. We are all sweating and laughing and enjoying the day. I feel so  confidant on the bike - a surprise to me since I haven't been on a bike in at least a year. The breeze is caressing my face, I am balanced on two wheels and feeling so great to be outside and moving my body. Wow....



Richard, Merideth and Cait
78 years young


Richard, Urmi and Me


Lunch - Amok curry in coconut shell