Jaded in Calcutta

After a month in Calcutta I feel like I have become jaded. But it's out of necessity. If I let my mind dwell on what I see each day in this city, my head would explode. And then I would go insane.

Last night on my way home, there was the large, twisted body of a dead dog in the road. It had been hit by one of the many vehicles that go screaming by each second. Everyone stepped around it and didn't seem to take much notice.

I asked the rickshaw guy to stop at the little stand near Soma Home so i could buy a pack of Gold Flakes for Godee Mashee. After many years as a prostitute and drug addict, this is her only vice. She usually smokes hand rolled "beedis", so a real cigarette is a treat. She knows I like to have one before I go to sleep so she leaves one cigarette and one match next to my bed.

The next morning one as I walk to meet my friend Arnab, one of the first things I see is a huge black crow eating a rat. They are next to a pile of trash as big as a house. In this pile there are several other crows, 4 cows, 3 dogs and a few children rummaging around for some treats. It looks like all are being successful.

I get into a taxi and at one of the first traffic lights a small girl about seven years old appears at the window. She's holding a baby about eight months old. They both tap on the window and start a song that goes "Aunty, Aunty, one rupee please? Just one rupee please?". I'm sure she's been singing this song since she was very small. They both smile and hold out their hands and continue to tap on the window. They are so beautiful. I just want to open the door and sweep them inside and drive away. But i know they are being watched very carefully. I turn away and pretend to look at the papers in my lap.

At the next light there is man with no arms and a deformed face. "Please, please. A few rupees, please?". I look away.

Still at the next light there is a beautiful mother in a sari with a baby in her arms. She holds out her hand and points to her crying baby. I pretend not to see them. As she walks to the next car, she slaps the baby across the face to make him cry harder. She knocks on the next window. "A few rupees please. For my baby?"