Groove Is In The Heart

2017 starts off with a bang
The pain in my chest begins at 5 am
January 1

I try to ignore it
Nothing's wrong
It'll get better                                           


But it doesn't
Mind reeling
Pain feeling
Heart racing

What should I do?

I drive down the mountain
Leaving friends behind
Knowing this is something more
Trusting my heart on this one

First Instacare closed
Second closed
Third closed
(it IS new year's day)
Fourth will see me
but wait
we don't take your insurance
Sorry
Panic starting

Alone

ER
Bright lights
Sad people
Bloody people
Sick people
and me

They see me quickly
when I tell them I'm having chest pain
Blood draws
IVs
EKG
Chest x-rays
MRI
CT Scan
Panic pervading my pores
and cells

They will have to keep me overnight
do more tests in the morning
At that moment the worried faces
of mom and dad appear
A soothing salve

I didn't want them to worry about me

Upstairs to the Cardiac ICU
More comfortable bed
More meds
Kind people
Caring for me

Pain is intense
A heavy lead weight sitting on my chest
Cannot get a deep breath
Oxygen in my nose
Morphine in my veins
So uncomfortable
No sleep for me tonight
Watching the snow come down
thick sheets of white
Covering everything

Another day
Comforted by the piles of fluffy white snow
Waiting
Wondering
Another test to be done
Taking a long time
So many people with heart issues today

The pressure around my tender heart
Slowly lifting
Giving me a respite
Friends and family come to visit
Making me laugh
It hurts to laugh
But feels like healing energy

Finally time for the test
In the evening
The sun is gone
The two men who come to get me
Are my people
They are caring and funny
And make me comfortable

Time stops

As soon as I lay down
they tell me the test is done
Put me back in my bed
Deep sleeps surrounds me
Woken too many times
By people who want stick sharp needles in me
To take my blood
Check my meds

The doc comes at 6 am to tell me what they found

No blocks in my heart
No stints inserted
Pericarditis
Is the word they use
Inflammation of the membrane
around my heart

Caused by a virus

Now its time to rest and reflect
Drink gallons of hot tea and cool water
Clean healthy life giving food

Listening to what my heart has to say
Feeling the many blessings surrounding me