I posted this link on Facebook today, but thought it was important enough that I wanted to share it here as well. It really resonated with me and I love the way Dana writes in her blog PurposeFairy.
Being happy and bringing positive energy into our lives is definitely a choice. Not always an easy one when sadness inevitably takes over some days. But if we can live in love and trust it can make a huge difference. And don't forget to always dream BIG.
Thank you, Dana!
What is the difference between happy people and unhappy people?
Of course, it may be very obvious, happy people are happy
while unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct, but
we want to know what are the things that these people do differently and
that is why, I have put together a list of things that HAPPY people do
differently than UNHAPPY people.
1. LOVE vs. FEAR. Well, I can tell you for sure that those people who are really happy, FEAR less and LOVE a lot more.
They see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to
discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE. Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but
you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by
understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When
something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it,
knowing that this will make the situation even worse, but rather, they
ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? and
they go from there, focusing on the positive rather than on the
negative. They always seem to see the glass half full no matter what
happens to them.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS. Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to FORGIVE and FORGET, understanding that FORGIVENESS is a gift they give to themselves first and foremost.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets
burned.”Buddha
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT. They trust themselves and they
trust the people around them. No matter if they talk to the cleaning
lady or the C.E.O. of a multi billion company, somehow they always seem
make the person they are interacting with feel like there is something
unique and special about them.
They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies,
and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love,
dignity and respect, making no distinctions between age, sex, social
status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain
was talking about: “Keep away from people who try to
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION. They do the things they do
because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because they get a
sense of purpose by doing so. They understand that “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life”
like Wayne Dyer puts it, and they care more about living a life full of
meaning rather than, what in our modern society we would call, living a
successful life.
The irony here is that most of the time they get both, success and
meaning, just because they choose to focus on doing the things they love
the most and they always pursue their heart desires. They are not
motivated by money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those
around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size”. They don’t criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, but rather, every
time the behavior is present, even if it’s not that often, they know
that by praising the person and the behavior, they will actually
reinforce the positive behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure that his 7 years old boy will learn
to always put the toys back in the box after he’s done playing with
them, he will make sure not to focus on the many times the child won’t
do it, criticizing him and his behavior, but rather, every time the
little boy does put the toys back, the parent will praise him and his
behavior and that is exactly how he will reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end geting the wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people will see
PROBLEMS as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing
things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that
underneath them all lies many opportunities that will allow them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. ALTURISM. They do what they do
not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they
bring meaning, empowerment and happiness in the lives of many. They look
for ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and
to make other people happy.
”Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while
giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the
mind of the giver is uplifted.”Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. They have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. These people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of us.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” Goethe
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. They are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self love, self forgiveness and self acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No no matter where
they look, no matter where they are or with who, they have this capacity
of seeing beauty where most of us would only see ugliness,
opportunities, where most of us would only see struggles, abundance
where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude for them all.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still having big dreams about the future.
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it
is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful
tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it
for who you are.” Eckhart Tolle
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to keep a positive perspective on everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. BLAMING vs. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. They take
full ownership over their lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy
people understand that the moment you choose to blame some outside
forces for whatever it is that happens to you, you are in fact giving
all your power away, and they choose to keep the power for themselves
and taking responsibility for everything that happens to them.
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