An angel named Thomas

On a glorious Tuesday morning, I am out for a walk on the beach boardwalk. The sun has been gracing us the last few days here in Long Beach, Washington and I want to squeeze every second out of the warm day. I have been walking the Discovery Trail that stretches 8.2 miles along the Long Beach Peninsula, through sand dunes and across wooden boardwalks alongside the Pacific ocean. There are a lot of fun things to look at along the way, including interpretive signs telling about the journey of Lewis and Clark, various sculptures and a grey whale skeleton. Tomorrow I think I will rent a bike and do the whole trail. If I can remember how to ride a bike. It's been years. But you know what they say about riding a bike.....

I have walked about three miles and am heading back toward my car with visions of a hot spinach and cheese omelet and a steaming cup of coffee at the cafe down the street.

I stop to inspect a log that has inscriptions on it - most of them start with "Dear God" and are signed by someone named Danya.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a small figure bounding toward me. His skin is so white it almost blinds me in the bright sun. He is wearing bright yellow swim trunks and a blue and green striped towel wrapped around his bare shoulders. He stands next to me and begins to read the inscriptions out loud.

"Are you a Christian?" he says. Taken a bit by surprise, I turn to look at him. "Well, sort of. I do believe there is a higher power than us, but maybe not the same god that Christians believe in".

"God does exist." Says my tow-headed friend. "And I can prove it." A big smile spreads across my face as I look at his. "Before my dad went to prison, he told me about a time when there was a gang of men surrounding him and they were going to kill him. And then they just ran away. My dad said there was an angel there protecting him."

I say I definitely believe in angels and I think his dad was very lucky that his angel was there that day.

This skinny little cherub tells me his name is Thomas and he just turned 11 a few days ago. He will have a party next weekend with his friend and he hopes his mom will be able to get him a cake from Albertsons. The chocolate with carmel frosting. "But it will have to be the small one" he says, "because the big one will be too much for me and my friend and my mom."

He tells me he is here with his mom and his sister, visiting from their trailer park home in Portland. I ask if his mom knows he is at the beach alone and if she will be worried about him. He tells me he stays outside pretty much all day when he's at home. His mom doesn't want him inside for too long.

I look into his beautiful blue eyes and I don't see sadness. He is very manner-of-fact.

He wraps his towel more tightly across his shoulders and asks if I will walk with him to the water's edge to look for seashells. He gets a worried look on his face and says in a whisper "I'm scared of a tsunami."

"Sure Thomas. I would love to." I say.

We walk along the beach, his superman towel-cape fluttering behind him. "I won't see my dad until I'm 16. And even after he gets out I probably won't see him because of what he did to my mom." My mind is racing and I wonder what adult words of wisdom I can dredge up to sooth a boy who has a rough time. "He does write letters to me from prison, so that's good......but I don't want to talk about my dad anymore. It makes me really sad."

We walk along in silence for a while and search for interesting rocks and shells and pick up bits of crab and clam shells. He is very excited for each one. He wishes he had a bag to put them in but instead wraps them carefully in his towel.

"Have you seen the whale skeleton?" I ask. His face lights up like a Las Vegas neon sign. "REAL whale bones? Where are they? Can I actually touch them?" I tell him that they are just up the path a little and ask him again if he should let his mom know where he is first. He tells me she's having a nap and won't expect him back for a few hours. I'm feeling a little bit weird about this situation but also see a little boy who needs a bit of happiness in an otherwise hard life, and if laying his eyes on the bones of a whale will bring him some joy, then we should go and see them.

As we walk about the length of one city block, he tells me that he gets made fun of a lot in school and he only has one friend there. "I guess it's because I'm so skinny. I only weigh sixty pounds and I'm 11. And I will never do jumping jacks in front of anyone again. That was awful."

As the whale bones come into view, he starts hopping from one foot to the other. "Let's run!" he says. I make my best attempt but it's more like a lop-sided gallop. I could run a lot better when I was 11. Thomas streaks past me in a colorful blur of bright swim trunks and snowy white skin, bare feet not caring as they land on the rough wooden boardwalk planks.

Thomas reads the sign about the whale in a very poised, confidant voice. He is an excellent reader. He touches the bones and we talk about whales for a while. My whale knowledge is limited, so I don't have much information to share.  I just know they're really cool, and Thomas thinks so too.

Thomas says maybe he better get back to the hotel now and I tell him I'll walk with him. He smiles big and says "Maybe you can come and meet my mom and my sister. I would really like that."

I have to pause and think about this one...what will his mother think of him bringing back a stranger  from the beach? What kind of situation would I be walking in to? Or on the other hand, she may feel better to meet the person that Thomas will surely tell her about later.

We walk toward a nice time-share hotel on the beach and down a long hallway. I take off my hat and big sunglasses and Thomas stops to look up at me and smile. I realize it's the first time he's seen my eyes and most of my face.

We get to the door and Thomas knocks, and then knocks some more. He kicks at the door a few times. It takes a long time for the door to open. When it finally does, there is a tired looking woman standing there. She looks very annoyed and when she sees me, a look of surprise crosses her face.

"Mom, this is Christine. She took me to see some whale bones."
I smile and stammer "Yes, he was alone on the beach and I was a little worried. I wanted to make sure he got back to his hotel ok."

The woman looks confused and then very annoyed as she pulls the boy inside. "Yeah, thanks" she says as she is closing the door. The door then springs back open and Thomas walks into the hallway. He takes my hand in his. His face is complete calm and goodness. His eyes are alive and smiling. He says in the most genuine, grown up voice: "Thank you Christine. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Thomas. I'm so happy that I met you today." He turns and slips back inside and the door closes with the familiar click-lock of a million hotel room doors.

The beach boardwalk

Adventures on the Long Beach Peninsula

It's been about 2 weeks since I arrived in this interesting little part of the world.

I knew it was off season here on the Long Beach Peninsula and there probably would not be any guests at the Moby Dick, but I guess I didn't realize that the whole 25 mile radius is pretty much shut down as well.

It gives the word "quiet" a whole new meaning. Not that there's anything wrong with quiet. I like quiet.

When I go to a shop or a restaurant here, it's a gamble whether it's even open on any given day. Most things are closed on Monday, after staying open Saturday and Sunday hoping for the wayward, brave winter traveler to grace them with their presence and their dollars.

I have enjoyed driving around and exploring the outlying areas here. Especially with my friend Minette who has been coming here since she was very little with her mom and spending time with her grandparents who spent summers here. She knows the peninsula intimately and it is a joy to tromp around with her. Last weekend we went to Cape Disappointment, The Graveyard of the Pacific, since so many shipwrecks have happened there.

Cape Disapointment

We went to Minette's favorite place, Mermaid Cove and spent time sifting through the mounds of driftwood, rocks and creatures there. Then off to the lighthouse for a most spectacular view of the end of the peninsula. Then lunch in Ilwaco and back to the MB to settle in for snacks and movies. The next day we hiked around Leadbetter State Park, which is the opposite end of the peninsula and was magical. Around the Bay side and into the forest and back out for a nice little loop. You can easily hike over to the ocean but we were a little limited on time that day, so we did a short version.

Leadbetter Point

Astoria Column

Yesterday I went to Astoria, Oregon which is across the Astoria Bridge and is about 22 miles from Ocean Park, my temporary home. I had a great time there. It's a sweet little town on the waterfront with lovely victorian homes perched along the hillside over the water. It was a gorgeous sunshiny day with lots of people about. I poked around in cute little shops, had lunch on the water, saw the maritime museum, the house where the movie "The Goonies" was filmed, toured the George Flavel House which was built in 1886 and was stunningly beautiful. Just before I left town, I drove up a windy street to the top of a hill where the Astoria Column resides. I was so glad I did. The view from there was breathtaking.

Goonies house

I drove back to Ocean Park and made a delicious meal of beans with onion, carrots, broccoli and indian spices and settled in for more movie watching. Needless to say, I've been watching a lot of films and doing a lot of reading and have enjoyed it very much.

This morning I went for a long walk along the beach boardwalk with the warm sun at my back and not a cloud in the sky. Everyone was smiling and happy, black tailed deer munched on grasses and everyone wanted to chat.

beach walking

Every day is such a gift and I am always counting my many blessings. Life takes us in such extraordinary journey when we can loosen our grip on long held beliefs that keep us bound.

I am letting go and free-floating down the river of my life.

sunset at Ocean Park beach

Sound and Silence at The Moby Dick

I have been here at the Moby Dick Hotel inn-sitting for one week now, and I'm falling into a nice routine that looks like this:

I wake up each morning around 7 turn on the heat in my little corner room and wait while it gets toasty warm. I trod downstairs to the big kitchen and make myself some tea and some toast, arrange it on my little silver tray and take it backupstairs to my warm room. I read for a while, write in my journal and enjoy the coming day through the two big windows that look out on the back of the property and the Willapa Bay. There are two Buddhas sitting under ancient trees in the yard and I can see them both from my room. They comfort me.

I take a shower and head downstairs again, put on some music, roll out my yoga mat in the parlor/living room with the old piano and funky chairs and stretch my stiff body. The bed is a little bit hard for my taste in beds and I'm a little achy when I get up. But I've slept in so many different places in the last year or so, that it doesn't bother me too much.

Antonio arrives every day around 11 to feed the chickens, gather the eggs and tend the garden. On the weekends he's been busy painting all the trim on the hotel. His wife Lupe comes to clean the hotel and do the laundry once a week. Today, we chat a little when he's done. His english is limited (he says) but I think he understands a lot more than he lets on.

Today he asks me "jew no husband?" I explain to him that I've had two delightful husbands, but now I am single. I tell him I have a daughter (about 3 years younger than him, it turns out) and one grandson. He thinks about this a while and shakes his head "but jew beddy no old. How jew have grandson?" God bless him. And finally he asks "jew no boring here alone?"

Good question, Antonio....

Moby Dick and Me

Last month I was asked by a friend if I would consider coming up to Nahcotta Washington and "inn sit" for her friend's bed & breakfast. I didn't hesitate before I said "yes". She was as surprised as I at the quick response and asked if I wanted to think about it. I said "No. I'll be there."

I'm pretty much always up for an adventure and don't want to let anything pass me by....and since I really didn't have anything pressing planned for October, I thought why not? Maybe Richard Gere will walk into the B&B and we'll ride off into the sunset on his bicycle built for two. Hey, stranger things have happened...

I left California and drove almost 500 miles the first day. Spent the night in Roseburg, Oregon at a lovely little motel. The next day I headed north for a while into the deeper splendors of Oregon. It's so green and lush and gorgeous. Much like Bali, but with freeways and McDonalds off every exit. 

I headed North and West through the most glorious wine country and was soon on the Oregon coast and crossing the Washington state border where I quickly arrived at the Moby Dick. 

The hotel was built in 1929. It was always a hotel and a happening restaurant. It's big and square shaped and yellow, with red trim around doors and windows, which is very welcoming indeed. 

When I walked through the front door, I felt very comfortable. Coming down the hallway and into the large double living room was like coming to grandma's house. There are funky, overstuffed chairs and couches everywhere. Wacky, mis matched lamps adorn every flat surface while power cords snake under each rug and chair to the few wall sockets they can find. 

Two separate sitting areas make for great places to sit and talk. One has a fireplace as its centerpoint and the other is has a television and a piano. There are more books and magazines here than a library. I could be here for years and years and not read everything. 

The dining room and restaurant style kitchen take up the whole front of the building. The dining room will hold around 25 people and has a lovely view of the gardens and the driveway. 

Upstairs there are 10 bedrooms, each with its own theme. They are lovely but seem a bit rundown. In fact the whole place could use a big hug and a bigger scrub. I'm not sure what's happening with the owners, but it seems they have run out of steam for right now. This place could be even more brilliant and fantastic with a little love. 

In the back of the large property there is a beautiful yurt with a heated bamboo floor. Just perfect for yoga classes and retreats. Further back, facing the Willapa Bay, there is a Japanese sauna in a cute little wooden building.  The property is edged by a dense forest on one side and the coyotes make themselves known at night as they bark and howl at each other.

There is a good energy here. It's quiet and calm and I'm glad to be at the Moby Dick. I've spent two nights alone and it's ok so far. It's a big place to be a alone in, but I go upstairs to my little corner, lock myself in and sleep quite well. 

Antonio comes each day to feed the chickens, gather eggs, tend the large organic vegetable garden and do other odd jobs. His wife Lupe comes to clean once a week. 83 year old Dean comes each day just to say hello and to have a cup of tea. He's a funny guy and seems hungry for a little company. After just a few visits, I know everything about his kids, grandkids, great grandkids, his health, his life and travels. 

I'll be here for another four weeks and look forward to getting to know this little peninsula of Long Beach. There is a lot of great history here and greater walking and hiking to be done. If it ever stops raining, that is.

Ode To The Om Shanti

The rushing creek is talking to me here

One last time

Giving me its blessings

Sending me on my way

Chris Falls

 

The fire of the autumn leaves

Lighting my way

The crisp cool air clearing my head

The majestic mountain with its arms open wide

Pointing the way home

Telling me that home is in my heart

 

Thank you for this important time

11 years

the number 2

I am now one

Everything is as it should be

 

I leave behind a house of memories

Some good, some sad

For the next family

To sit in this spot and make their own memories

I leave happiness

of a brand new life

a new chapter

yet to be written

Thank you for all that you have given me

The space in between

There is a place
In between
so sweet
so perfect
like the center of a cinnamon roll

When I inhale
the space in between the exhale

In my bed
the space in between wake and sleep

When I practice yoga
the space in between balance and falling

At 6 in the morning
The space in between night and day

When I look into Julian's face
the space in between a thought and a word

When I meditate
the space between my two eyes
the space between each chakra

When I forward bend
the space between each vertebrae

When I put socks on my feet
the space between cold and warm

The space in between
is when all is right with the world
perfect balance
the tipping point
sama-sama

Silence

I sit here on this Wednesday morning, the last day of August. The air is growing colder here in the Utah mountains, where I've been for the last month, almost.

I have had the amazing blessing of being able to spend time in a little cabin in the mountains. Alone and quiet. There is a lot of history here. It's the place where my husband and I met, had our courtship, became engaged and got married. Ten years ago.  My life has changed so much since then. In incredible ways.

And now I have been able to be here for about 20 days, most of them spent in silence. Just me, the trees and the constant sound of the rushing creek. I don't know when I have ever spent this much time alone and it's been an incredible experience. The universe has conspired to give me this important time, gift wrapped in a beautiful package.

Time to write, reflect, rest, meditate, listen to music, go for long walks and watch the season change from summer to fall.

This cabin is a small A-frame style. Simple and comfortable. The walk down from the parking area is somewhat steep and long. The cabin sits on a hillside off the main road with a beautiful stream in the back. There are not many neighbors here and it's isolated. Something that was scary to me in the past. I have always had a lot of people around me and stay busy with social events. I have always valued my alone time but didn't take much of it.

The front door

The deck in the back looks out over the stream. When I first arrived it was full and roaring. More water than I had ever seen because of the heavy rains of the spring and early summer. It's now slowed down considerably but still constantly rushing by. Never ending. Always there with it's comforting sound.

I love to be outside, reading or sitting for an hour in meditation. I roll my yoga mat out in the mornings before the sun gets too hot and stretch and move my body. I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

An angel after the rain

Julian has come and spent a few nights with me and he likes it here a lot. It's a great place for a little boy who wants to explore, climb on the rocks, pick flowers, swing in a hammock, feed the horses and build a little house out of pillows and blankets to sleep in. We brought him here for the first time when he was about 8 days old and made him a little bed in a pulled out dresser drawer. He was so tiny then....

Pool side musings

Hot desert heat envelopes me

Like a wool blanket

Even after the sun goes down, the thermometer still registers 98 degrees

Hot

Heavy

Heat

Wrapping around my brain

Families with kids eating pizza by the pool

Tattoos and hard black bodies

Red swim trunks on a football players body

Soaking in the solar rays

Energy

Heat

Vacation

Where will we all be at this time next year?

The young hotel worker on a break. Smoking. Looking down from his perch

Sizing everyone up

Wondering what I'm writing about

Hot wind like the breath of a dragon

I feel very disconnected from these people

Too many for a small hotel pool

Are the kids peeing in there?

Ambient mood music coming from 6 wall speakers around the chemical-filled liquid cool

Las Vegas 2011

I'm here in Sin City with my friend Amber. And it's hot here in the desert. I mean really, really hot. Yesterday I was walking down the strip and literally felt my sunglasses melting on my face. Bali was hot, but with lots of moisture. Vegas is just plain piping, direct, oven-heat, house-on-fire HOT.

I am tagging along with my friend on a business trip. It's pretty great because we're staying in a lovely business hotel. Not even a slot machine in site. They all know her here because this is her home for one week a month, so we're treated like royalty. The room is the size of an apartment and I get to hang out all day while she toils away selling top quality vitamins and supplements to wonderful health conscious stores.

Needless to say, Vegas is a strange place to be after Ubud, Bali. There are probably not two more complete opposite cities on the planet....I thought I would hate being here, but instead I look at it all with a child like curiosity. I'm amazed that we as a race have come to this place in our "civilization." Vegas is all about distraction from what it means to be a human being. It's about living in a complete fantasy world. Which I guess is ok for a few days a year when you're on vacation from your "real" life. But what about the people who live and work here? How strange it must be...

One of the most wacky things to me is that now there isn't even a human being at the card table. It's a computer generated image of a woman who looks you in the eye and deals cards to you via another computer in front of the chair where you sit..... It's all very bizarre and funny to me.

Tonight we are going to see a Cirque Du Soleil show all about the Beatles music. I'm looking forward to it.

Viva Las Vegas baby.

"Las Vegas is Everyman's cut-rate Babylon.  Not far away there is, or was, a roadside lunch counter and over it a sign proclaiming in three words that a Roman emperor's orgy is now a democratic institution.  "Topless Pizza Lunch."  ~Alistair Cooke

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."  ~Jeff Candido and Jason Hoff, advertising slogan written for the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, 2002

Back in Time

From my journal, dated May 17, 2011

Ubud, Bali

The sun rises and so do I. I bath my body and scent it with oils of lavender and lemon. I put the water on to boil and create today's tea: rosella flowers, lemongrass, ginger, palm sugar and cinnamon.

I dress and brush my teeth, turn on the fountain in the garden and roll out my yoga mat. 

I begin to stretch and move my somewhat stiff body after many hours of lying still in sleep. I think about my dreams of the night before. 

The garden

The people of my village are awake and active at this early hour. Roosters are crowing, dogs are barking and people are making their way to the market to sell their fruit and vegetables. They carry great piles of green leafy spinach, bananas and heavy coconuts on their heads as they walk the mile into town. 

At the small village temple next door there is constant construction. Across the road, the rice farmers in their bamboo hats begin to plant and harvest the rice, depending on the time in the three month cycle. They heard large groups of ducks into the fields, shepherding them with a long bamboo pole with a piece of cloth tied to the end. This way they can lift up the pole to warn motorists to watch out for the ducks as they cross the road. The ducks are very important to the rice farmers and to the rice crops. They eat bugs and weeds that would harm the rice plants, and naturally aerate the soil with their little duck feet. 

The fountain in the garden

At 7 am people begin to arrive at my home. RJ from London; a dear friend and confidant, Marcia from Portugal; my soul sister, teacher and gifted healer, Ketut and her husband Putu, brother in law Gede, and Komang and Mira, all from Ubud. 

We spend an hour chanting sanskrit verses and in meditation. It is an incredibly powerful practice and I am so grateful for it. The energy of having many people in the same room meditating is greatly magnified. I have never before practiced meditation on a consistent basis, and I am amazed at the many positive things it has brought to my life. 

My alter

After meditation, I lead the group in an hour and a half yoga practice. I am learning so much from this group of people and so grateful for this practice. 

When we finish, we share hot tea and fruit and finish by 10. 

My house

This day is a busy one; I have an appointment with Nyoman to get my new tattoo, bahasa Indonesian lessons, and dinner with a friend. In between I sneak into a spa and get some much needed waxing. I find on this day that with the removal of body hair comes an incredible lightness of being :)

Nyoman - creating my new tattoo

Selemat Ulang Tahun

The dawn of my 48th year

in this body

on this planet

Love abounds

Beauty surrounds

My heart is relaxed

I am humbled by the blessings in my life

I trust in the universe

I trust in myself

To be

Just to be

that is all I need to do

Doors open

Doors close

as butterflies dance around them

decorating with color and light

All we need to do is listen

Mountain Morning

Warm sunlight bathes my face
Ancient trees stand guard around my soul
The stream rushes furiously by
With no where to go
I am protected and held
Mt. Timpanogos watches over
Bits of pure white snow as her jewels
Butterflies of all colors float by
Doing the butterfly tango on this beautiful stage
There is a blissful nature spirit here
In spite of the mansions that have replaced the trees
Spirit lives on
Evolution is at work
I am peace
Peace is in me
Om shanti

Blogging

Ah, my poor little blog has been very empty and lonely these past weeks.

I am back in America and finding my way after living in the magic of Bali for seven months. And things are playing out in amazing and wonderful ways.

I plan to spend the next several days writing and reflecting as I am tucked away in my little cabin in the mountains of Sundance.

I feel very inspired to focus on my writing and now is the time to do it. I am surrounded by beautiful pine trees, a rushing stream and majestic Mt. Timpanogos with only my thoughts and words to put down on paper, er computer. I have volumes of hand written journals to refer to  and many ideas are peculating around in my brain....

Many thanks for your kind support always and for reading my words.

Terima kasih banyak!
(thank you very much!)