Traveling to Thailand 2016

When I am out in the world I feel most alive. Most happy. Most abundant and clear. 
All of my senses firing constantly. Everything is new. New sights in my eyes, new smells in my nose, new people, new languages and new spices on my tongue. Always aware but relaxing into the experience. I have rarely feel afraid when I travel. Always supported by the universe when I let go.

I leave in the early morning of December 28 and board my flight which takes me to San Francisco, then on to Seoul, Korea and then another leg to arrive in Bangkok some thirty hours later. By the time I get to my hotel at 1 am, I am dizzy, exhausted and hungry.

Sunrise in San Francisco

I have a quick shower and collapse into my bed.  After a fitful sleep (my body still wants to awaken in the wee hours - still on Utah time), I get dressed and go down for breakfast. I like this hotel, I've stayed her a few times before. Breakfast is good. Fresh omelet and toast, hot coffee, spicy rice and fresh fruit. I walk outside and the smell of Thailand fills my nose. No place else smells like this. I have the whole day to explore. We'll see how my energy holds out. 

I walk down to the boat dock where tourist boats go up and down Chao Phraya river. I want to go up a few stops to the amulet market to get little buddha tiles and spices. When I see the overloaded boat and how hot it is in Bangkok, I change my mind. Still feeling like my spirit has not caught up with my body, I can't imagine being smashed in this boat with so many other sweaty bodies. It is a few days before New Year's eve and there are many tourists visiting. 

I walk back in the direction I came and a Thai man talks to me and asks where I'm going and if I want a tour of the city. I tell him no thanks and he says "how about massage? There is good spa down the street. I take you." It is a busy street with many people around, and I trust him, so I numbly follow along, chatting as we go, my brain feeling like it's still back at the boat dock. We stop in front of a very nice looking place and takes me inside. He tells me to enjoy and leaves me there. It is a lovely place and the people are nice. I end up requesting a 2.5 hour massage, which includes, head, feet, face and body massage. There are little signs around that explain that this is a NO SEX spa. Massage only. Perfect.

I am taken up an elevator by a sweet woman and into a nice room. She tells me to undress and shower, which I do and then proceeds to give me the most amazing 2.5 hours ever. My body is very sore from the long hours sitting upright in a tight airplane seat, ankles swollen from downward blood flow. She is wonderful and kind and the time seems to go by quickly. Feeling extremely relaxed and drowsy, I float out of the spa and down the street. I stop for a cup of tea and a delicious cookie before heading back to my room for a small nap. 

Bangkok street art

After a couple of hours, I venture out again. Just up the street is a mall that I wander through, looking at all the different things for sale and the people shopping. But the lights are so damn bright. It's hurting my brain. I go outside and down a side street where a little market is happening. I buy some fruit and snacks and walk around feeling so lucky to be here, looking at beautiful faces and smelling fabulous smells. The market stalls seem to go on forever. The street looks like a movie set. Old shuttered windows on top of small cubbyhole houses where I can see people eating dinner or  watching tv. 

reclining buddha

After a few hours of walking, I'm suddenly very tired. I make my way back to my room and relax with a hot bath and then organize my things for the flight to Laos the next day.

Nothingness

 Julian and I are driving home through Provo Canyon. Somehow the subject of extinction comes up. We talk about what that means - for the animals on the planet, for the trees, the fish, the birds. 

We imagine a world with no whales, no redwood trees, no elephants, no parrots, no seagulls, no woodpeckers, no giraffes....

and he says "what about people? what if they are extinct? what then?" 

I say "yes, what then?" 

He thinks about it for a while and decides there would be nothing. 
             Nothing at all. 

"Until we start it all over again" says he. 

The light in me honors the light in you

Julian is spending the night with me. He's building a fort out of all the couch cushions and every pillow in the house. When he's finished, he says "look Nana, I made a Namaste Tunnel."
"Wow, cool. What happens in a Namaste Tunnel?" I ask.
"Well, you get inside and lay down, you put your hands up like this (prayer position in front of his heart), you say Namaste and you think about all things you don't do very well and you want to do better. And you just keep thinking about things you want to do better and you keep saying Namaste and when you get out it's all ok."

Wow. This little buddha, this old soul, this little pure being of light. He blows my mind and expands my brain on a constant basis. He's such a gift in my life and a gift to the planet. I'm very happy that he chose our family to join on this plane....

I'm always reminded of this song by Marshall Chapman I heard for the first time just before Julian was born. 

"Call the Lamas!" (I saw a little Buddha in the checkout line at the grocery store today)

Namaste
Om Shanti
 

Changes in attitude. Changes in lattitude.

I spend a lovely summer and fall in the mountains of Park City. It was/is a time of profound change, internally and externally. Moving through changes in my being. In my soul. In my relationships. Changes in my body and in my mind. Doing my best to gracefully dance with this thing called men-o-pause and learning so much along the way. Feelings of sadness that this time of a woman's life has been demonized and marginalized throughout history.


"There's something wrong with her. She's old. She's dried up. Let's put her in a corner. She's no longer vibrant or relevant or important. Let's put her on drugs to make her forever young and beautiful."

But it's the natural course of things, isn't it? We get older and wiser and more beautiful with all the knowledge and experiences gained in our life journey.

I never knew, never needed to know until I arrived here.
In this place.
In my life.

Feeling crazy. Heavy. Mortal.

Feeling abundant. Feeling alive. Feeling ready to create the next chapters.
Feeling like I have arrived.
At a very important juncture.

I get to choose how I want to dance....

The little Buddha

Seven year old Julian is sitting quietly. I can see he's thinking about something and really mulling it over in his mind. After a while he says 

"Hey Nana, what if I wore a mask of myself on Halloween? That would be pretty cool wouldn't it?"

Afterwards I wondered to myself how many of us are already doing this.....

Seasons

The weather grows cold
golden leaves do their slow spiral dance
toward the earth

compacting
reducing
resting
changing
sleeping
weeping
meditating
trusting
becoming

phoenix rising

She is......

Happy Birthday, Your Holiness!

On July 6, 2015 His Holiness the 13th Dalai Lama turned 80 years old.
What a momentous occasion!

On this day, I went with Julian, Anicah and Taylor to a beautiful place in the Utah mountains called Cascade Springs. Such a peaceful spot with multiple springs surrounded by boardwalk paths and paved walking trails. The trees are numerous and lush and the birds and butterflies kept us company.

We stopped at a spot near a shallow creek and I told Julian about the Dalai Lama's birthday and that we would sing a prayer for him, and offer a shiny polished crystal stone to the water in his honor. I taught him "Om Mani Padme Om" and we repeated it a couple of times. I looked at my phone just then to take a photo and it started freaking out.....red and gold and blue lines everywhere, waving and moving across the little screen...something I had never seen it do.
I pushed the button to take a photo and here is the result:

Om Mani Padme Om

I love it, and it looks to me like the moment felt. Light and pink and beautiful. 

The power of mantra. The power of prayer.

The power of love.

 

Southern Utah

Shutter and shake
Swirl and bake
A pond. Leaves floating
Giant moths and birds
Mosquitos and gnats
Indian art
Ancient language
Communications
From another time and space

What are they trying to tell us?

It is written in stone
Red rocks
Arches and caves
Slick rock and spires
Navajo sandstone layers
Stories in time
Tell me what you know

I am listening.....

Prescott, Sedona, Grand Canyon May 2015

In Beaver, Utah on a rainy night.....

Hoover Dam

Visiting my dear friend Christy

The red rocks of Sedona

Bell Rock trail

Bell Rock Vortex

Sedona church

Sedona art

Petroglyphs near Sedona

Ancient Petroglyphs

Picnic at the art studio

The grandest of canyons

What an amazing view!

Grand Canyon

Loved being there!

The Desert Watchtower at Grand Canyon

Inside the Watchtower

Ancient Indian apartment building

Jerome, Arizona

The Journey

In the dark of night

in the light of day

under the lush moon

The voice teaches me

whispers......

There is no "I"

We are all one

A kaleidoscope of color

rainbow neon

moving 

flashing

flying

beckoning

inviting me in

to dance

As ancient as the stars

there is no time

The profound 

sadness

grief

tears

devastation

of the planet

passes through my being

Mama Gaia

I hold it in my arms

witness it

feel it

rocking it like a child

With an exhale as old

and wide as the planets

I let it go

Dissolving

into LOVE

 

Northern Thailand

Unfamilar birds call
Incense wafts
Butterflies dance
Monks chant
Leaves float softly to the ground 
Goats trim the banana tree
The sacred mountain 
stands guard over me
While my body gently sways 
for hours
in the green hammock
Rocking me like a child 
Profound peace 
permeates 
Every cell
Of my being

Captain's Blog - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Tuesday, October 7

Alex calls me from work and suggests that we leave today for Santa Fe and the Balloon Festival in Albuquerque. After a quick check of the calender, I say "Sure. Why not?" We are getting really good at quickly collecting our gear and hitting the road. We drive to Moab and arrive around 9 pm. It's a beautiful night and the town is hopping with people. We slip quietly behind a local hotel and bed down for the night. At 3 am I wake and look out the window to see a beautiful lunar eclipse happening over the warm October sky. What a wonderful gift. 

Wednesday, October 8

We drive south through Monticello then to Cortez, Durango and Pagosa Springs (a place I definitely want to spend more time in!) in Colorado and over the border into New Mexico. I have never been to New Mexico before and the drive is amazing. The Fall colors are bursting and my eyes almost cannot take so much beauty... we arrive in Santa Fe in the early evening and go to Aunt Claudina's house. She is a relative of Alex's, on his mother's Spanish side.

  Claudina is 87 years young and such a hoot. When I am introduced to her she looks at me and says "oh honey, I look like such a tramp. I wasn't expecting company." I am in love with her instantly. We take her out to dinner at her favorite Mexican place where everyone knows her. She has a huge smile on her face and is proud to be there with friends. We get seated and she looks across the table. "Are you going to drink tequila with me?" Of course I am. We order margaritas and delicious food and we have a great time. We take Claudina home, where she has lived for more than 50 years and spend time with her son Benny and his son Lauren, looking at old photos and chatting away. We decide to drive to Albuquerque (Or ABQ as the locals call it) so we can be near the festival grounds for the balloon festival. The balloons start to rise around 5 am. 

It starts to rain as we near ABQ and scout for a spot. We have trouble locating a good place because there are so many people around for the huge balloon festival. We end up parking under an awning of a closed up gas station, which is good for us because we suffer from a few leaks in the van during heavy rains.

Thursday October 9

We wake very early and see a police cruiser parked next to us.  Alex gets out to walk Bailey and the policemen in the car pay no attention to him. Seems they are there to direct traffic for the Balloon Fest. Whew. I'm having a hard time getting myself awake, so Alex drives while I lay in bed gathering myself and my thoughts.

We drive about 2 miles to the gate and as we get to the parking lot we see them. Hundreds of balloons beginning to float in the clear early morning sky. They are as big as skyscrapers. They are in every shape and color of the universe. It's like being inside of a saturday morning cartoon. Sharks, bees, ships, fairies, horses, birds, dolls. They are in all stages of coming to life. Some are floating high in the sky, others are just getting their hot air pumped into them and rising from the grass field. It's amazing. So magical. We are smiling and laughing and running around like kids. It's one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. 

We stay for several hours and it feels like a state fair. There are a lot of booths containing food, games, trinkets, posters, and all things in the world of the hot air balloon.

We decide to drive back to Santa Fe and explore downtown. This is our only day here - we have to begin our drive back in the morning. We go to Santa Fe and love walking around. So many art galleries, shops, restaurants and things to see. The people are going crazy over Bailey, Alex's miniature Schnauzer. Everyone wants to pet her and talk to her. Santa Fe is definitely a dog friendly kinda place. We have a nice lunch on a patio - although the food turned out to be not so good. 

No love in the food or in the service. Ah well....probably an off day...

Back to Benny's house to take a shower and over to Aunt Claudina's for a visit. I wasn't feeling so well from the no-love food so I chilled in the van for a while while they eat pizza and have a chat. We sleep in Benny's driveway that night in the pouring rain. It's quite cozy and I have a good sleep and pleasant dreams.  I feel as if I'm going through a major healing process on this trip.

Friday, October 10th

After a lovely breakfast with Claudina and some sweet good-byes, we hit the road. We drive all day and arrive in Moab around 8 pm. We have a good sleep behind our favorite motel and head north after fueling with coffee and bagels. We arrive in Orem, Utah in time for my family reunion (which is another chapter...). 

A smooth, peaceful trip to New Mexico. I can't wait to return and spend much more time in Santa Fe, Taos and ABQ!

Captain's Blog - The Black Hills - Part 3

Tuesday, September 9
We drive from Sturgis to Cody, Wyoming. A long and windy drive. I am lulled by the road and the miles drifting by, when suddenly a group of 8 antelope runs across the road in front of us. Alex sees them first and quickly wakes me from my thoughts. I hit the brakes and everything that's not locked down comes flying forward in the van. They scamper across the road and we barely miss blasting through the middle of their antelope tribe. From then on, my senses are on high alert.

We cruise into Cody and find a campground in town, have a walk around as the rain comes down and end up at a brew pub for pizza and salad before tucking in for a brisk night in the van.

Wednesday, September 10
We have a beautiful drive through Yellowstone, stopping for a couple of wonderful hikes through steaming geysers, the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone and around Yellowstone Lake. We cruise through Grand Teton Park and check out campgrounds there which are all completely full. We end up staying in a very large campground outside of Jackson, called Gros Venture. As we are setting up camp, a big mama moose and her baby come wandering through the camp. They don't seem to be bothered at all by the large number of people watching her.

Thursday, September 11
Another chilly night, but we stay warm and cozy in the van. Our propane heater works well, but is rather noisy and doesn't make for a very deep sleep. In the morning we hear people milling around and look out to see about 20 people gathered with cameras and binoculars just across from our site. There are 3 very large moose eating and playing in the field. Soon the park police are there telling people to stay back. Those animals are huge and powerful and I certainly wouldn't want to be in their way, should they change directions....

We clean up our campsite and decide to drive over to Teton Park again and have breakfast at Jenny Lake Lodge. It's a place I've heard about for years and always wanted to have a meal there. It's a sweet, old place with tons of charm. What I didn't know was that is is a higher end restaurant, with breakfast costing $25. We decided to treat ourselves in honor of two years since the day we met. And I have to say, it definitely was the most amazing breakfast I might have ever had. We started with fresh berries and yogurt, along with the most delicious coffee in the universe. Next was huevos rancheros. A nice small portion, everything perfectly balanced. Then came french toast and potatoes. OMG. Everything was made very fresh with local ingredients and lots of love. I enjoy every bite and feel so blessed on this morning as we look at the Grand Tetons through the window. Soft snowflakes begin to fall as we finish our meal.

We drive through Jackson, Snake River Canyon, my hometown of Star Valley, Bear Lake and Logan on the way back to Ogden. The Fall leaves are on fire with red and gold all the way home.

It was a glorious and sacred journey and I am incredibly grateful for this life and experiences that I am in the process of creating. I read a quote recently that talked about travel, and that when we travel, everything is new so we only see the beauty around us. That feels very true for me. Every day is such a gift.....