Reflections on Nepal

Before I get too mezmorized with India, i want to process as well as I can, my experience in Nepal. It was a very important time in this journey. It was a time when I was really on my own after traveling for 2.5 weeks with a large group of people. I cried a lot at that time of change but then quickly got into my own groove.

I made incredible new friends that will last a lifetime and feel very happy about my time there and the places I went and things I saw. But i also learned an important lesson, and that is that I need to take care of myself emotionally a little better.

I went on this journey with my heart wide open. A little too wide it seems. I have found that when my heart is that open, people want something from me because they can see that i am willing to give it. Whether it's money, or time, or making other commitments. I wanted to do it all and I ended up empty. Emotionally and physically. And it made my body out of balance and sick. I'm glad i learned this now because here I am in a country that many times worse than Nepal as far as poverty and people living in terrible conditions and needing help. I want to do as much as I can but still take care of myself. And with the heat and the pollution here it sort of ampliphies everything. I have felt totally run down since i got here. I'm not eating much and am feeling very out of sorts. I"m sleeping a lot too. I hope i'll find my strength and my groove. I am in love with the girls here at Soma Home and am really happy to be here. They are each very special to me already. The women who cook here are very concerned about why I'm not eating more and think I don't like their cooking.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit the Kali Temple with another volunteer from Canada. Her name is April and I think we will make good traveling partners. We will get out of the city next weekend to someplace a little cleaner and quieter, like maybe Darjeeling. I am longing for a really good cheeseburger and a glass of red wine....yum....oh, and some ice cream. Yeah, that would hit the spot.

We're living in pretty meager conditions here at Soma Home. Very basic. All cooking is done on the floor of a bedrrom over a kerosene stove and it's certainly not the most sanitary. I'm scared to death to get sick from the food or water or the mosquitos but so far it's the pollution thats really getting to me. There is something burning in this city all the time, whether it's garbage, dead bodies, tires, who knows....